Ask The Alchemists!
by peaceofmindalchemist
Summary: Have something you've always wanted the characters of FMA? Now's your time to shine! Details inside, Please Review!
1. Chapter 1

Ah, I love these things.

A Q and A for Full Metal Alchemist!

So here's what I was thinking:

-You review or PM me and ask a question to any FMA character from the anime or the manga. Of course, if you want to ask something from, for example, Wrath, who was a different person in the anime than he was in the manga, say "Anime Wrath" or "Manga Wrath" and don't give me a headache.

-The next day for update will depend how many questions are asked. If theres only like, one question, I won't update until theres more because it's hard to make a good chapter around one question. So if you wanna see your question answered, you'll have to get more people to ak theirs.

-Try to keep the questions at a T rated level, so I don't have to make this story M.

-Questions for the author are allowed, and welcomed!

-Suggestions or dares are also allowed and welcomed.

So review, because this could be fun!

- :] Dani.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I only got one review. Hmph. But it did have two questions in it so, eh, I can roll with that for now. But seriously, guys. I need more than just two questions to make a chapter. So review. Oh, and if that's not enough motivation, today is also my birthday. So ask a question to make me happy, kay? :D**

**Dedication: This is dedicated to AnimeCookie93, my only reviewer so far.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters mentioned, except myself. I do own that much.**

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Dani: Okay, so here we are! The first question-asking session! Everyone ready?

Everyone:......

Dani: I'll take that as a _yes_!

First question, from AnimeCookie93. It's for Hohenheim!

Hohenheim: Oh, Geez, I can't wait!

Dani: *hits Hohenheim with question sheet* Don't be sarcastic!

Edward: Yeah, you bastard! Listen to her!

Dani: *smiles* Your gonna love this question, Ed.

Hohenheim, AnimeCookie93 wants to know if you snuck milk into Ed's coffee between the end of the series and the movie to make him taller?

Hohenheim: *Sweatdrop* N-noo...

Edward: WHAT?!?! YOU BASTARD! WHO DO YOU THINK IS SO SMALL HE NEEDS MILK TO MAKE HIM TALLER! I'M GONNA KILL YOUUU!

Hohenheim: I said I didn't do it! You just hit a growth spurt, is all! C'mon, Ed, I would never do that to you! *nervous laugh*

Edward: YOU LIAR!

Dani: Before Ed kills Hohenheim, next question! For Edward, from AnimeCookie93!

Edward:....*mumbling* Ruining my coffee. Dumb bastard.

Dani: ED! WAKE UP SHORTY, YOU HAVE A QUESTION!

Edward: SHORTY?!?

Dani: Don't deny it. Anyways, your question from AnimeCookie93 is

How tall _were_ you in the movie? *prays he's taller than her*

Edward: Hmm... well... let's see. *does a bunch of completly unnessiary math* I was 6"11!

Dani: *hits Ed with papers* Don't lie.

Edward: Fineee. I was about 5"3 okay?!?

Dani: *chuckles*

Edward: What?!?

Dani: Oh...nothing.

Edward: *lots of bad words*

Dani: Well, that's it for our first chapter. Please review with your questions, I'd really like to have some for Colonel Mustang. He's the bomb diggity.

Edward: No one says "Bomb Diggity".

Dani: Shut up, I do!

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**A/N: I had to streach out these two questions super long to make a decent sized chapter, and it's still short. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Well, I got alot of reviews on the last chapter, so I'll update now. Thanks for the reviews everyone, I think this will be an interesting chapter. :D It's also pretty long!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters.**

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Dani: Hey everyone! Thank you soo much for your reviews!!! We got alot of great questions, right guys?

Everyone: *Gulp*

Edward: Should we be afraid?

Dani: Probally. So anyways, first question. It's for Wrath, from the anime.

Wrath: I got a question?!? *excited*

Everyone else: That's probally _not_ a good thing.

Wrath: *Still excited*

Dani: Anyways, Wrath, your first question is from .lost

What made you want to live with Winry and Pinako?

Wrath: Well, let's see. They seemed like really nice people, and I was kind of trying to get my act together. I thought they could help.

Dani: Awww!

Wrath: Plus, Winry is really hott.

*Random wrench comes from off screen and hits Wrath in the head*

Wrath: Ow! Where did that come from?!?

Winry: I heard that!

Dani: Before Winry kills Wrath, we'll move on to the next question! This on is for Envy, and it is also from .lost

Envy, why do you wear a skort?

Envy: _Everyone always says that! _It is most definatly _not_ a skort! In fact, it really brings out my manly figure, don't you agree?

Dani:.....No, I do not agree. Seriously, why do you wear the skort?

Envy: SHUT UP!

Dani: *mutters under breath* Whatever.

Envy: *Evil stare*

Dani:*sweatdrop* Next Question! The last one from .lost! It's for Alphonse.

Alphonse: Errr....I think I'm coming down with a cold?

Dani: Don't even try it, Al. Your gonna answer this.

Alphonse: *sweatdrop* Yes M'am!

Dani: Here's your question!

Did you ever get that girlfriend you were wanting?

Alphonse: *sigh* No, I really only wanted Winry to be my girlfriend, but all she ever thinks about is Brother. Oh well, though. Winry and Brother make the fangirls happy when they're together anyways. Besides, as long as they're both happy, I am too.

Everyone: Awwww!!!!

Dani: Aw. That was sweet. Anyways, moving on. Okay, so first off, Ed, AnimeCookie93 says "Well, Ed...I'm about 5"4. *lmao*"

Edward: WHAT?!? THAT'S UNNATURAL, HOW CAN YOU BE TALLER THAN ME!

Dani: Actually Ed, it's very probable for everyone to be taller than you are. Most people over the age of twelve are.

Edward: SHUT UP!

Dani: So, Colonel Mustang, you have your first question! It's from AnimeCookie93.

How do you feel about the ending of the movie? Is there anything you would've/wouldn't have done to make it better?

Roy: Well, as far as the movie went, I hated the ending. Honestly. Why end it like that? As for changing the ending, I would have definatly changed the part were Ed and Al end up on the wrong side of the gate. The shrimp was annoying, but he was a valued member of my crew, and his brother was a nice kid.

Edward: WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT US IN PAST TEMSE YOU BASTARD?!? WE'RE NOT DEAD!

Roy:*ignoring Edward* Sometimes I still hear the annoying buzzing of that pipsqueak's voice in my ear...

Dani: *laughing* Okay, okay. That was funny. *highfives Roy*

Roy:*smirks*

Dani: Next , this one's for you!

Envy: Oh, I'm so excited *sarcastic*

Dani: Shut up! What have I told you guys about sarcasm? None of it. *hits Envy*

Envy: Ow.

Dani: Your question is from randomperson.

What is that thing around your waist?

Envy: It's shorts! Honestly!

Dani: You liar.

Envy: IT'S TRUE!

Dani:*cough*Isnot*cough cough*

Envy: Geez, just stop talking!

Dani: Rude. Next question, for Winry from randomperson

How much do you know about Psiren?

Winry: Who?

Dani: I'm guessing not much. Moving on. To Wrath from the anime from randomperson.

Wrath: *gulp*

Dani: Have an energy shot. *gives energy shot*

Wrath: *takes and drinks* O.O *Starts bouncing off walls* I'M KING OF THE WORLDDD!

Dani: *Flinches* Next, for Al from randomperson

Alphonse: I agree! This is definatly a random person!

Dani: Here's a kitty/philosophers stone. *Gives kitty and philosophers stone*

Alphonse: A KITTY! AND A PHILOSOPHERS STONE! OMG I LOVE YOU! *cuddles kitty*

Edward: *takes Philosophers Stone* Forget the cat, Al! We can get your body back now!

Al: *ignoring Ed*

Edward: NO ONE LISTENS TO ME!

Dani: *laughs* Okay, the next questions are really long, so be prepared! First one's for Ed.

Edward:*stops crying* Your acknowaging me?

Dani: *chuckles* Sure. Here's your question from FireNutZuko

You are aware that you're shorter than the average woman, right? Are you  
secretly a girl? Also, respect your elders... and refrain from killing any of  
them... unless it's Hohenheim... yeah, you can kill your dad.

Edward: WHAT?!? I am most certainly _not_ a girl! Want me to prove it?

Dani: NO! This is still rated T Ed, no need to make it M. We'll take your word for it.

Edward: *mutters* Whatever. Also, I will try not to kill anyone. Other than my dad, since you've allowed it. But can I kill the Colonel too?

Dani: *whacks Edward on the head* DEFINATLY NOT!

Next, for Roy from FireNutZuko.

Why are you such an arrogant, stubborn, annoying, sexist, pigheaded  
bastard? And you are aware that if you did become Fuhrer that all the females  
in the military would murder you because of the mini-skirt thing, right?  
Especially Riza? What ARE your feelings for Riza anyway?

Roy: I deny everything in that first sentance. Except, maybe the stubborn part. I am kind of stubborn. Not really though. As for the second part, I have plans for that!!! I'm gonna get these guards you see...

Dani: *raises hand*

Roy: Umm...yes?

Dani: Will the guards be in Mini Skirts too?

Roy:....Enough of that question. As for the last one, I'm going to excersise my right to be silent.

Dani: Ahem. In this contract, you gave up all your rights, including that one.

Roy: WHAT?!? How'd you get me to sighn that?!?

Dani: I told you it was a declarment passing the mini skirt law.

Roy: Damn. Uh, okay. *Queitly* RizaHawkeyeisanamazingbeatifulpersonIloveher.

Dani: What was that?

Roy: *yelling* RIZA HAWKEYE IS AN AMAZING BEATIFUL PERSON AND I LOVE HER!

Riza: That's sweet, sir, but you need to do your paper work.

Roy: *tear*

Dani: Hah. The nxt question is for me, from FireNutZuko.

Technically your parents own you if you're under 18, you do  
know that, right? Also, who's your favorite character? Your least favorite  
character?

Dani:.....Crap. I forgot about that. Ah, well. I own nothing then. *sigh*

As for the second part, my favorite character is Roy, despite all the bashing he's had done to him in this chapter. I hearts him. Least favorite, probally Scar. I just don't like him that much, I think he's a hypocrite. Killing people for religion? Pshaw.

Scar: *comes out of nowhere* WHAT?!?

Dani: LAST QUESTION!!!

From FireNutZuko for Envy!

Envy: . Do I want to hear it?

Dani: Probally not, but here is is anyways.

Why does your hair make you look like a palm tree? I think it's  
because you never brush it, wash it, or anything else and because you wanna be  
thought of as the "cross-dressing palm tree". But I wanna know the real  
answer.

Envy: For your information, I like my hair! Along with my _shorts_, it brings out my manlyness!

Dani:.....Seriously? Manlyness? Until episode 50, _I_ thought you were a girl. That was the biggest surprise in the whole anime for me, that you were a guy. You were even _voiced_ by a girl, in Japanese _and_ English.

Envy: Ed was voiced by a girl in Japanese! So was Al!

Dani: But they were _obviously_ guys.

Envy: *emo*

Dani: So, until the next chapter, keep the questions coming!

Roy: Yes, just no more embarasing ones, please!

Dani: Don't listen to him! The more embarasing the better!

Everyone else: Noooooo!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters mentioned. I do, however, own a FMA tin, a DvD, the 3rd soundtrack, and the first two volumes of the novel. So nuh!**

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Dani: Welcome back to "Ask the Alchemists!"

Everyone else: ...

Dani: *glare* Cue the clapping

Everyone else: *Claps madly*

Dani: *Smiles* Now, in this chapter, we have questions from AnimeCookie93, Moonrise31, randomperson, Noah the Devil Huntress and AnimeFanGirll67!

Roy: They're all for me though, right?

Dani: No! The first one is for Edward, actually.

Roy: *emo* He gets more questions than me.

Dani: Yes, but if it makes you feel better, this ones gonna piss him off.

Roy: :D

Edward: WHY'RE YOU SMILING YOU BASTARD?!?

Dani: Ahem. Edward, you can not kill Roy.

Edward: WHY?!?

Dani: BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!

*Bullets fly past Dani's head*

Dani: AS A FRIEND! Anyways, Ed. Your first question is from AnimeFanGirll67.

You realize that you're reaction  
to Riza's question/statement "You love Winry, dont you?" (In the manga) obviously showed that  
you love her, right? and that if you hadn't been freaking out up in Briggs you  
would have heard Winry say something intersting... *evil grin*

Edward:*blush* I do love Winry, she's my best friend.

Dani: O.o He didn't spaz out!

Edward: Of course not a- WHAT DOES THAT LAST PART SAY?!?

Dani: I spoke too soon...

Edward: WHAT DID SHE SAY?!?

Dani: Next question! For Al from AnimeFanGirll67.

Why do you like cats so much? You're brother is a dog of the  
military and dogs are manlier. Here. *hands dog* his name is Pooca.

Alphonse: I don't know, I just like cats better. And my brother doesn't like being called a dof of the military. Also, I don't care if I'm manly or not.

*Sniffs Pooca*

Err...thanks I guess...he's very cute.

Dani: Okay... last question from AnimeFanGirll67. It's for Envy!

Envy: Oh, joy.

Dani: *glare*

That thing is definatly not shorts. Its a skort. Admit it. And I dare  
you too... Change into Hoenhiem and see what ed does. =D

Envy: What do you know?!? It's shorts!

*changes into Hoenhiem*

Edward: YOU BASTARD! *attacks*

Dani: And that is what happens. *yanks Ed off Envy* Edward, you can kill Envy _after_ you both answer all your questions.

Edward: *sigh* Okay.

Dani: The next question is from Noah the Devil Huntress for Hoenhiem!

WHY IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU NOT LOOK LIKE  
ED OR ALPHONSE??? Did you cheat on their mom? Cuz if so, I'm coming after you  
through the fanfic!!!

Hoenhiem: No! I loved Trisha, I would never do anything to hurt her!

Edward: YOU LEFT HER YOU BASTARD!

Hoenhiem: I had good reason for that!

Dani: *slaps Hoenhiem* There was no excuse!

Hoenhiem: Ow.

Dani: Last question from Noah th Devil Huntress! For Winry and Riza

Are you guys related???? Cuz you two look more alike than Al or Ed...

Riza: I am not, to my knowledge related to Winry.

Winry: Whadda ya mean we look alike?

Winry and Riza: *tilt heads*

Dani: You really do.

Winry and Riza: WE DO NOT!

Dani: Whatever. Next question is from randomperson for Envy!

are there any other forms that you like and have you ever impersonated  
another homunculus

Envy: I really don't like many other forms but that one...

Dani: You mean the cross-dressing palm tree?

Envy: SHUT UP!

Dani: *mumbles* it's the truth...

Envy: Anyways as for the other question, I impersonated Greed once and had Lust convinced he was in love with her. Gluttony almost ate me!

Dani: I wish he had.

Envy: ......

Dani: Next from randomperson is for Ed and Al!

That kitty was fused with a Philosphers Stone

Alphonse: WHAT!?! The poor cat...

Edward: Let's use it anyways.

Alphonse: NO!

Dani: Last from randomperson for Wrath from the anime.

Here's a truckload of sugar

Everyone else: NO! DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM!

Wrath: Aw. :[

Dani: Eat it in the closet

Wrath: *rushes to closet, where sounds can be heard from moments later*

Roy: Did you lock it?

Dani: Sure did

Everyone: Good.

Dani: Okay, next from Moonrise31 for Ed, Al, and Izumi!

What's that symbol that Ed has on his coat, Al has on his  
armor, and Izumi has a tattoo supposed to represent/mean? You know, the cross  
with the snakey thing on it.

Edward: It represents the sins we committed by doing a human transmutation.

Izumi: Yes, notice how Dante had it aswell. I bet Hoenheim has one somewhere too.

Alphonse: *nodnod*

(A/N: I don't really know if thats it, but it's always been my guess.)

Dani: Next, for Riza.

After Black Hayate's...how should I put it...initial potty training,  
has he ever done anything else to make you...uh...shoot at him?

Riza: No, he was very good after that. Always obediant. Although I still catch him staring at my holester sometimes...

Dani: That's animal cruelty. :[

Riza: With all due respect, if you don't shut up you'll be expeirincing author cruelity.

Dani: *sweatdrop* Next question! From Moonrise31, for Roy!

Roy: My first question of the chapter! Woo!

Dani: It's more of a suggestion, really.

You should to burn all your paperwork and see what Riza does! And you  
can't blame me, because I just suggested it and didn't dare you to *grins  
innocently*

Roy: *Snaps and burns paperwork*

Riza: You. Did. Not. Just. Do. That.

Roy: *runs away*

Riza: *chases*

Dani: *watches* Okay...Breda, from Moonrise31

Is there any specific reason you don't like dogs?

Breda: I don't need a reason! They're scary!

Dani: Short and to the point.

Breda: *nodnod*

Dani: Lastly, we have some questions from AnimeCookie93 First for Envy!

Was the "short" (it's a skirt... just admit) and black tubetop (hehe...) part  
of the Homunculi's attire? Did you ever want to change it?

Envy: They are shorts! And no, I chose what to wear! No one tells me what to do!

Dani: Edward, this one's for you from AnimeCookie93

I guess hypothetically... how would you tell Winry your feelings?

Edward: Well...I'll show you. *walks over to Winry and kneels down taking her hand*

Winry: *blushes* Your telling me you like me, not proposing!

Edward: *Ignores her* Win, I love you and I always have!

Dani: Aw. Now for the last question! Winry!

look, u are probly my fave character... and you are strong willed...  
(which i think is one of Ed's turn-ons about you! :) ) how do you think Ed  
would tell you his feelings?

Winry: Well he just showed me, right?

Dani:Well, there you have it. That's it for this chapter! Remember to review and don't miss the next chapter!

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	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA

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Dani: Welcome back! We got quite a few questions, so this is gonna be a long chapter...

Everyone: *groan*

Dani: Shuddup, it'll be fun. Anyways, the first question is from randomperson for me.

Let Wrath out of the closet.

Dani: Are you kidding?!? He'll kill us all. But...if you insist. *opens closet*

Wrath: *asleep*

Everyone else: Whew.

Dani: Next from randomperson for Envy!

Go to the beach and stand next to a Palm Tree!

Envy: SHUT UP WITH THE PALM TREES!

Dani: *smacks* You heard the reviewer! Do it! Now!

Envy: *cursing under breath* Fine. *Goes to beach and stands next to Palm Trees*

Roy: O.o! They're like twins!

Envy: Shuddup Flame Boy!

Dani: Don't talk to my bestfriend like that!

Roy: I'm your bestfriend?

Dani: You are now.

Roy: Sweet!

Dani: ^^ Anyways, for Al from randomperson

Here's a kitten. Careful though, it likes to attack things smaller than it...*looks at Ed*

Edward: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?

Dani: Obviously, it is implying that you are short.

Edward: WHAT?!?

Dani: NEXT QUESTION! For Roy from randomperson

Ever thought of destroying Riza's guns so she can't threaten you as easily?

Roy: Funny story...I tried that once...let's just say _never again_.

Riza: You better not even _think _about it.

Roy: Yes ma'm!

Dani: Our next question is from iTorchic for Edward.

Have you ever considered stealing Roy's gloves or atleast hiding them then  
prank the heck out him?  
(it's not torture! :P It's harmless pranks!)

Edward: I have considered it, but I decided I wanted to _live. _Because he would know it was me and plus, he has like 60 pairs hidden around the office. He would torch me!

Roy: Damn right!

Dani: Next, from iTorchic for Roy!

you should grow a gotee (the little beard thing). Secondly, if you  
like fire so much, you should get Edward to drop you in a volcano! =D

Roy: Random. Hmm...*thinks of self with beard* I like it! I will not shave until I acheive that goal! For on that day, all female officers will fall in love wi-

*Random bullets fly past Roy's head*

Roy: I was going to say Paperwork!

Dani: Sure you were. Next question from iTorchic for Winry and Riza. Well, not a question, more of a compiment.

You are epic! GO GIRLS! (and no miniskirts!)

Roy: No miniskirts?!?

Edward: YOU PEDIPHILE! YOU WANT TO SEE WINRY IN A MINISKIRT?!?

Roy: No, but I'm sure you do. *runs away*

Edward: *blushing* Get back here you bastard!

Dani: Don't kill Roy, Edward.

Ed: WHY?!?

Dani: Because I am the author and my words are law.

Edward: *emo*

Dani: Next question! From iTorchic for Al! Again, more a compliment than a question.

*glomps* You're so cute!

Alphonse: Why thank you!

Dani: Last from iTorchic, for Ed again.

Edward: *stops chasing the Colonel*

Dani: Ed, your question.

Did you know that everytime someone spams, you get shorter? =D Also, I'm 5'9  
and I'm 15! =P MWHAHAHAH!

Edward: WHAT?!? STOP SPAMMING PEOPLE! And as for that last part, why does everyone do that to make me feel bad?

Dani: Because it's funny.

Edward: Like you can talk. You're only-

Dani: NEXT QUESTION! *mutters* Edward, if you ever try to mention that again, I will kill you. *Smiles at camera* Anyways, our next question comes from laitue for Roy.

Why are you always stealing Havoc's girlfriends ? It is not kind !

Roy: It's not my fault they can't resist my charm.

Havoc: *Mocking voice* 'Not my fault they can't resist my charm' SHUT UP ALREADY!

Dani: Aw, Havoc, be nice. I'm sure Roy doesn't steal _all_ your girlfriends...

Everyone Else: Actually...

Dani: Wow. Ever thought of switching to men?

Havoc: NO! I'm straight!

Dani: *shrugs* Next is from laitue for you, Havoc.

Do you know that you are a nice and good-looking man ? So why in your opinion  
don't you succeed with girls ? Because you smoke too much ? Could you stop  
smoking for a woman ?

Havoc: As for the first part, I know this. I tell women this all the time. Secondly, I believe Mustang is at fault for that. Honestly! And no, women like my smoking. It makes me seem dark and mysterious.

Dani: And also disgusting.

Havoc: No! You like it!

Dani: Answer the last question.

Havoc: If a woman can't accept my smoking, they don't really love me, so no, I would not stop smoking for a woman.

Dani: Last one from laitue, for Greed. It's very long.

First I want to tell you that you are the most awesome of the homoculi and  
that you are very hot.  
Then what do you think of Envy ? Do you like him ? And do you think he like  
you ? Or maybe is he jealous of you ?  
At last I would like to know : when you said that you want "all : money,  
power, women..." do you mean that you limite your wish to women or does it  
include men too ? Because in my opnion "all" means women and men, doesn't it ?  
And if you want men too, does it mean that you want Kimblee ? Forgive my  
questions but there are some stories about Kimblee and you so it make me  
curious.

Greed: I know I'm sexy. Envy? He's a jackass! I do not like him, he does not like me. I suppose he is jealous, after all he is Envy. And, no, I limited it to women for a reason. I do not want Kimblee, and wait...what stories?

Dani: Don't worry about it Greed!

Greed: No, I wanna know!

Dani: *hands Greed a sheet of paper.*

Greed: *reads* O.o *drops and runs away* YOU WERE RIGHT! I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW! MY EYES! THEY BURN!

Dani: Well, I'm sorry everyone, but I have to cut this chapter short. I have to get ready to go to church. If your question didn't get answered in this chapter, I promise it will in the next one. This is going to put me very behind in updating, but oh, well. Review, but don't ask too many questions until I'm all caught up!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters mentioned in this story.

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Dani: Remember how I said I was going to get terribly behind for not answering all the questions in the last chapter? That happened.

Roy: And you call me lazy?

Dani: Aw, shut up. You are lazy, I'm just...well...okay. I'm lazy. But you're lazier! Anyways, we have to get straight down to buisness today! Our first question comes from Anonymos1996 for the shrimp.

Edward: Who?

Dani: You.

Are the Roy/Ed (as in dom/sub) pairings true? And what do you think about  
them? *Drools while reading one* Oh ya, btw... I'm gunna be taller than you...  
and I'm only 13!!

Edward: What is she talking about?

Dani: *hands Ed sheet of paper*

Edward:*reads* Oh. My. God. *Glares at Roy* YOU WROTE THIS DIDN'T YOU BASTARD!

Roy: What? No!

Envy: I wrote it.

Edward: YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! *chases*

Envy: *Runs*

Dani: Well...that answers that question...Next from Anonymos1996 For Al!

You must have been frustrated while in that armor... not able to do  
ANYTHING... with ANYBODY... :P

Alphonse: It wasn't that part that bothered me, really. What really bothered me was not being able to feel, and do other things people often take for granted, like sleep.

Dani: Poor Al. *Hands kitty* Next from Anonymos1996 for Winry! And Winry, you have to tell the truth...

Do you like Ed? Cause so hott, right?

Winry: Everyone always thinks that! Yes! I like Ed, okay?!? I think he is very hott!

Edward: Winry...do you mean that?

Winry: Yes, Edward, I do.

Edward: I...I've always loved you too, Win.

Dani: No time! We've got a load of questions!

Edward and Winry: *glare*

Dani: Fine, you guys admit your innermost feelings in that corner while I ask the rest of these questions! I'll call you if I need you!

Edward and Winry: *go to corner holding hands*

Dani: Now, another from Anonymos1996, for Envy!

Admit that you like dressing in Mini's and Tube Tops... Girly-Boy

Envy: I DO NOT! IT'S SHORTS!

Dani: Liar! Admit it now!

Envy: NO! SHUT UP!

Dani: We don't have time for this Envy!

Envy: *Mumbles* Fine, I like to wear tube-tops and mini skirts. In fact, I am an official member of The Mini Skirt Army. Happy now?

Dani: No way! I'm in the Mini Skirt Army too! We can be skirt buddies!

Envy: *glares*

Dani: *Smirks* Last question from Anonymos1996 is for everyone.

Isn't Ed cute/hott?

Dani: I'm not including myself in this question. *smirk*

Everyone else: NO FAIR!

Winry: He sure is!

Roy: Hah. That pipsqueak wouldn't be hott if he were on fire.

Riza: I agree.

Envy: Set him on fire just to find out!

Dani: Maybe in the next chapter. Our next questions comes from AnimeFanGirll67

I have multiple questions for Roy because he seemed so sad about not  
getting as many questions as Ed.

1. Whats your favorite part of being in the military?

Roy: Thank you very much, Miss. Well, my favorite part of being in the military is the friends I've made there over the years. If not for them, I would have quit the Military long ago.

Dani: Aww! You're being serious for a change! And nothing about Mini Skirts!

2. Why do you stalk Ed? You know way to much about his adventures to just be  
hearing rumors... do you like him? *wink*

Roy: Well, I find out as much as I can about Full Metal's adventures because 1.) He is under my command and if he screws up it makes me look bad. And 2.) I worry about him and his brother. I want them to achieve their goal just as much as I want to achieve mine.

Dani: Well, half of that one was sweet. The other half was arrogent. But Oh,well.

Did you ever notice that Hawkeye and Ed also look alike? =/

Roy: I suppose they do, mainly because of their hair color.

Dani: I agree. Same shade of blonde, y'know? Anyways, next question.

I love Roy as well, but its pretty much tied between him and Ed... Who  
should I pick? (without the authors bais, even though I can understand why  
youd said roy. He IS the bomb diggity... XD)

Roy: Three reasons I'm better than Ed? One, I'm tall, two, I'm a high-ranking military officer and three, I'm so hott, I'm on fire.

Dani: What a cheesy line. Ed, three reasons your better than Roy, got any?

Edward: Do I have to choose just three? If you insist... One, I can kick his ass, two, I am not short! Three, I have automail.

Roy: The first two are lies and as for the third, that doesn't nessicarily make you _better_...

Ed: I can so kick your ass! And I'm NOT SHORT!

Roy: Wanna find out, shorty?

Dani: No time for that! Edward, go make out with Winry now!

Edward: Kay! *runs back to corner*

Dani: Our next questions come from FireNutZuko. First, for Roy!

I dare you to propose to Riza! =D

Roy: But...

Dani: Do it, or I'll steal your gloves.

Roy: *glares* Fine. *Walks over to Riza and kneels, pulling out a ring*

Dani: And why did you have that ring on you?!?

Roy: *ignores* Riza Hawkeye, from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I was in love. All those women I've dated over the years were only pleas, trying to get you to notice me. I know, I'm a terrible military officer, but if you do this one thing for me, with me, then I will be the best husband I can be, and the best friend I can be aswell. All you have to do is say yes...

Dani: This sounds awfully rehearsed...

Roy: So, will you make me the luckiest guy on Earth? Will you marry me?

Riza: *blushes* R-Roy...I don't know what to say...

Roy: Say yes!

Dani: Yeah, say yes!

Riza: ...Y-yes.

Roy: *dances*

Dani: ...Roy...that wasn't for real, it was just a suggestion from a viewer...

Roy: W-what?

Riza: *blushes*....Oh...I'd forgotten....

Roy: So that was for real?

Dani: Moving on.

Roy and Riza: WHAT?!?

Dani: Go to the corner with Ed and Winry if you wanna make out. Next question from FireNutZuko. It's for Edward. Come on over here Ed, answer this!

Your hair is long like a girl's, so I think you're secretly a girl!  
Deal with it! No, you CANNOT kill me or anyone else... besides Hohenheim...  
Also, can you send me pics of you going after Hohenheim? =D

Edward: I am most certainly NOT a girl! I wish I could kill you but..Hey, Al! Come take pictures of me killing our dad!

Alphonse: BROTHER! NO WAY!

Edward: Hmph. Any volunteers?

Dani: *raises hand*

Edward: Anyone else?

Dani: *starts shaking hand in air* Me! Mee!

Edward: ...Fine...

*Edward kills Hohenheim and Dani takes pics*

Dani: Well, that was fun, but we need to move on to the next question. It's another from FireNutZuko, for the Cross-Dressing Palm Tree! Aka Envy.

Get it in your head that you're wearing a  
MINI-SKIRT! Hey, you could be in Roy's mini-skirt army... no, you CANNOT kill  
Roy... or me... you can go after Hohenheim with Ed though. Also, could you  
try being a better role model for Ed and Al since you're their older  
half-brother? Which means that you have to stop killing people and wear PANTS  
NOT THAT SKIRT!

Envy: What? Not kill anyone? No way. Those little retards can be their own role models. Also, for the fifteith time, IT'S SHORTS!

Dani: Really? Cause earlier you said it was a skirt.

Envy: It was a dare!

Dani: You still said it. Anyways, next question. It's from FireNutZuko for Wrath from the anime.

Uh... you do know that sugar rots your teeth, right?

Wrath: Do those rules apply to humonculi?

Dani: Probally question is from .secrets! For Ed and Al!

How do you feel about all those fanfictions where you fall  
inlove with an OC? :P

Edward: Ugh. Those things _suck_! Either the OC is our sister or she falls in love with us. Get it through your head people, we do not love, nor are related to your Mary-Sues!

Alphonse: *nodnod*

Dani: I agree. Next from .secrets, for Al.

You're the awesomest good guy in the whole series :D

Alphonse: Why thank you!

Dani: From .secrets for Envy

You're the awesomest evil dude in the whole series :P

Envy: A compliment? And nothing about my shorts? You're my new best friend!

Dani: Last from .secrets, for Edward.

lol Edo your about 2-3 inches shorter then me! But  
trust me sometimes it sucks to be tall!!

Roy: *suddenly listening* Yes, Ed will have to trust you on that one. He's never gonna grow.

Edward: YES I WILL!

Roy: Oh the pain! The agony! Being tall is a curse! Your the luckiest pipsqueak around for never having to expierince it!

Edward: SHUT UP!!!

Dani: Don't kill Roy, Edward! We don't have time!

Hughes: *randomly there* She's right! We have no time! But do you want to see a picture of my beatiful daughter Elicia? She's so cute!

Dani: Next question! It's for King Bradley from loli-neechan

How does it feel to have power and yet be old?? do you truly  
love your wife?? Are you younger than "Pride"[manga]?

King Bradley: It feels good, power often does. As for my wife, how can I truly love a human? They're foolish creatures. And yes, I am younger than Pride. He's the oldest in the group.

Dani: Next from loli-neechan for Winry.

Where do you carry so many wrenches?? how long does it take for u to  
wash your hair?

Winry: I carry them in pockets, of course! And also, random question. It usually takes about 4 or five minutes to put shampoo and conditioner in it, I don't spend very long on it...

Dani: The next question from loli-neechan is for Riza.

*hugs!* i dare you to sing "Diva's Song from Blood +"

Riza: Thanks for the hug. *glances at Dani* Do I really have to sing that?

Dani: Yes.

Riza: *sigh* Cano tasay noni, cano nimono  
Kimah strata taday dato, nimo stprey datoo  
Cano tasay noni cano nimono  
Kamay sitodo lada nibonimoe

Kahmen di sono soda nimo,  
Kahmen mayto no sildo hisa day astro  
Misa day niatoe

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah no tashano ni to no nimono  
valmay sahano nada  
Ah-Ah-Ah  
ahhhhh AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dani: Great Job, Riza! Well, I got so many questions, I'm splitting it into two chapters! So they will be up at the same time. Thanks for the questions!


	7. Chapter 7

Dani:Here is Part two of that last chapter! Enjoy! Oh, and I own nothing!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dani:Our next question from loli-neechan and is for Ed.

Once i saw a picture of you in a dress with ur hair down, blushing and  
looking berry cute~ did that rlly happen?? _

Edward: *blushes* I-I lost a bet, okay?

Dani: Against who?

Edward: *Mumbles* The Colonel...

Dani: LOL!

Roy: *smirks*

Edward: SHUDDUP!

Dani: *wiping eyes* Our next question comes from loli-neechan and is for Lust.

Do you consider Gluttony your best friend?

Lust: Gluttony is probally one of my closest friends. I'm the only person he's never tried to eat.

Gluttony: *nodnod*

Dani: Aw. Next question is from Moonrise31, for Havoc.

do you know how bad smoking is for you? You should get into some  
program to try and quit. You'll feel better afterwards :)

Havoc: I've been told it's bad for me. I don't much want to quit though...no matter how much better it would make me feel. It's sorta become a part of me, y'know?

Dani: True, what would Havoc be without his smokes? Next question is from Moonrise31for Breda.

You think even cute little Black Hayate is scary? Aw...

Breda: There ain't nothin' cute about it! It's scary...

Dani: Your like, buff! Why're you scared of a puppy?!? Anyways, next from Moonrise31, we have a question for Roy.

Are you still alive? I think you were way too quick on burning the  
paperwork ^^`

Roy: I'm okay, somehow. Ri-I mean Lieutenant Hawkeye had already made copies of the papers, though, so I ended up signing them anyways...

Dani: Poor Roy. All that work for nothing...

Roy: I know.

Dani: Next from Moonrise31, we have a question for Riza.

*stares at gun* Uh... reviewer cruelty doesn't exist, right? O.O

Riza: No, but first reviewer who pisses me off will-

Dani: No, you won't shoot our reviewers. Or me. Because I am the all-powerful Author. So nyuh! Anyways, our next question comes from randomperson for Edward.

I am saying your short, what you gonna do about it, Shrimp?

Edward: WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE COULD RIDE ON THE BACK OF AN ANT?!?

Dani: Obviously, they meant you.

Edward: WHAT?!?

Dani: Your short. You know this. Moving on. Also from randomperson, to Roy or Riza, whichever answeres.

Who's in charge, Roy or Riza?

Roy and Riza: I am.

Riza: *glares at Roy and pulls out gun*

Roy: *sweatdrop* I meant Riza.

Dani: That's what I thought. Next from randomperson, for Envy.

you may be my favorite but its too much fun too bug you. now go home to your  
own kind. (points at beach with palmtrees)

Envy: SHUT UP! I AM NOT A PALMTREE!

Dani: But you are!

Envy: NO I AM NOT!

Dani: *mumbles* You still are. Next from randomperson for Winry.

Psiren is a theif ed and al met. ed was chasing her down and fell on her  
where he kinda grabbed her. Ed admit it you liked it

Winry: *Eyes twitch angreliy* Ed. Did. WHAT?!?

Edward: No, Win, you don't understand! It was an accident, I didn't like it!

*A wrench hits Edward on the head*

Winry: YOU LYING CHEAT!! *Runs away*

Dani: O.o Umm...okay...next question is from Noah the Devil Huntress! It's for Lust!

How does it feel to have a total airhead voice play you in the anime? Your  
voice actress is Laura Bailey who voice acted Tohru on the Fruits Basket  
anime

Lust: Eerrr...

Dani: That was rude. I like Laura Baily, as Lust and Tohru. Let's move on. From Noah the Devil Huntress for Palm Tree-san. (Envy)

(you crossdresser...) Anyway, what gender are you really??? I never got what  
gender you were. P.S. My mom said you were an "it".

Envy: I am most definatly a boy. Tell your mom to come here so I can sh-

Dani: No, I am not going to have to change this rating. Next question is for Fatty-kun (Gluttony) From Noah the Devil Huntress.

Why do you eat people?

Gluttony: *shrugs* I get hungry.

Dani: Short and sweet. I like that. Next is from The real Gluttony who says

hey, Ed if it makes you feel better almost ever one in Florida is short.  
Hell i'm only '5,1' and i'm turning 15 this month

Edward: That does make me feel better. Thanks!

Dani: Next from iTorchic, we have a question for Havoc.

If you promise not to smoke around me, *gives phone number* I'll go out to  
dinner with you. What time will you pick me up?

Havoc: I won't smoke. Not on dates anyways. And I can pick you up at 7:00 tonight if you want.

Roy: Or I can pick you up at 6:00!

Havoc and Riza: *Glare*

Roy: Kidding! Gah...

Dani: You better be. Your mine!

Riza: *reaches for gun*

Dani: As a friend! Sheesh. Anyway, next from iTorchi, for Roy.

Keep the beard, and if you actually want to attract girls I can probably give  
you some tips:

1. Don't look at them like a slab of meat that's a one time use. If word gets  
out among all of the women that you've had one night stands with (which is  
probably hundreds), then you will have a lot of angry women. A lot of angry  
women that are mad at one man find out things they have in common (such as  
being mad at you) and they all team up even if they hate each other. That  
would mean, that there would be hundreds of women that are out to kill you.  
Something happened like that near where I live (it was between 3 women and a  
guy) and they teamed up to go against the guy and it didn't turn out pretty.  
Thanks to superglue, that man is never having kids again.

So, I would stop while you're still alive Mustang. Hawkeye might just have a  
class for all of those women on how to shoot a man enough so it's painful but  
not lethal.

Roy: Thanks, this beard is quite sexy.

Dani: *nodnod*

Roy: Also, thanks for the advice, but there's only one woman I really love...

Dani: Me?

Roy: No. Riza.

Dani: Aw. You couldn't play along for a second?

Roy:No.

Dani: Asshole.

Roy: What?

Dani: What? Anyways, moving on. To Edward from iTorchic.

I'm sorry! If it makes you feel better, my friend is 16 and she's about 4'6"!  
=D Can I give you a hug and an alchemy lesson pwease?! *gives sad eyes*

Edward: It does make me feel better. You can give me a hug and a alchemy lesson if you want.

Dani: Hurrah! Next question is for Riza from AnimeCookie93.

How do you feel about the ending of the series?

Riza: In my opinon, the ending was okay. I disliked the fact that the Colonel lost his eye though. The ending to the movie was just bad. Ed and Al ended up in the wrong world, which sucks, and it made it seem like me and Roy hated each other.

Dani: I agree! Next from AnimeCookie93, for Roy.

I was watching the OVA complete collection the other day, and do you  
really feel like you and Riza should have dated after the series?

Roy: Yes, I do. They made it seem like we would, then made it seem like we didn't. It was confusing!

Dani: Next from AnimeCookie93, we have a question for Edward.

Why does it bother you so much that you're short? I mean, hey, i was 4'11  
at age 10 to age 14, so don't worry! At age 15 i had a minor growthspurt, and  
then here i am, at age 16 at 5'4"... don't worry! It's okay... *gives minor  
hug*

Edward: It just does, okay? And that makes me feel somewhat better about my own height, thanks. *hugs back*

Dani: Next we have a question for Winry from AnimeCookie93.

In your personal interest, do you like Ed? (*whispers quietly in ear*  
more than a friend?)

Winry: *blushes* Maybe.

Dani: Answer it truthfuly!

Winry: Yes.

Dani: Thank you. Next we have a question from First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye for Roy!

Damn it do your paper work! Dont you wanna be fuhrer and then stop  
that darn fraternity la and marry Riza?!

Roy: I don't like paperwork! WHEN I BECOME FUHRER, ALL PAPERWORK WILL BE BANNED! *dramatic pose*

Dani: You and your dreams for becoming Fuhrer. You have to do paperwork to get there, y'know?

Roy: *Sigh* As for the second question, I agree that law is stupid, When I am Fuhrer, it will be dissolved!

Dani: *rolls eyes* Great. Next, from First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, we have a question for Edward!

I have a classmate who is really really tall around 6"0 something  
and she's 12. but if it'll make you feel better... i'm only 4"10 :(  
oh and ed i have a gift! *gives something real heavy*

Edward: What?!? What do people put in kids shoes these days?!? And are you twelve aswell? Because the author is 14 and she's only 4"11!

Dani: YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER TELL!

Edward: I lied.

Dani: *twitch* Roy, read off the rest of First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye's questions for me, kay?

Roy: Are you gonna kill Ed?

Dani: Yup! *hands sheet of paper* Here are those questions!

Roy: Okay.

Dani: Eeeedddwaaarrdd! COME HERE YOU RUNT!

Edward: *runs away*

Roy: *chuckles* Okay, Ed didn't have time to open his present, so we'll set it aside for later. Now, here's one for Riza.

you are so cool! oh and... how would you think roy would propose to  
you? or even just admit his feelings?

Riza: Thank you. If the Colonel admitted his feelings to me right now, I would tell him how I felt about him.

Roy: And how is that?

Riza: ...

Roy: Fine. Next question, also from First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. It's for me. Why am I not surprised? I'm so popular.

I dare you to propose and confess your everlasting love to Riza! NOW!

Roy: *blushes* Umm... Riza? I love you. I always have. Marry me?

Riza: We've already been through this. I love you too. I will marry you.

Roy: Now, the last question from First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye is for Alphonse.

I hate cats... because there was this cat that goes to our house but we  
had a puppy... then the cat scratched our dog 3 times!

Al: The poor cat was probally scared to death of your puppy. Don't blame her!

Roy: Well, that's all the questions from First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, but since Dani is still killing Ed, I'll read the next ones too. They're from laitue! The first is for Ed, but he's busy, so I'll wait till he comes back. So the next one is another for the supersexy Roy Mustang!

Do you think Envy is sexy with his mini-skirt ?

Roy: Sorry, laitue, but only women are sexy in mini skirts. Crossdressing Palmtrees? Not so much.

Envy: I AM TOO SEXY! IN SHORTS!

Roy: *rolls eyes* Next we have a question from laitue, for Greed.

I hope I didn't traumatize you the last time ? Should I have to  
apologize ? *smile with puppy eyes* Do you want something ? Money ? Alcohol ?  
Cookies ? Kiss ?

Greed: Eh, I'm used to it. Hmm.. all of those would be nice!

Roy: Hmm...DANI! EDWARD HAS A QUESTION!

Dani: Kay! C'mon, Shrimpy!

Edward: *glare*

Roy: Can I ask it?

Dani: Welll...if you say you love me?

Roy: I do. I love you completly and totally.

Dani: Kay!

Roy: Edward, from laitue.

I realized that you are taller than me ! My life is over !

Edward: Hah!

Roy: Don't worry. You'll grow, he won't! Anyways, Ed, you also have this present...

Edward: *rips open present*

*Inside there are 10 different types of milk*

Edward:O.o WHO DID THIS?!?!

Roy: First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. She said she hopes you like it!

*Chapter ends, while Ed is still ranting*

Dani:*sticks head out of curtains* Hey! Don't forget to review! We're finally caught up! Also, you should cheak out my new SongFic, 4am Forever! Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

Dani: This chapter is so late! I apologize but I got sick and my computer crashed! I'm so sorry! So here we are, the new chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Our first question today is for Edward. It's from FireNutZuko!

I got the pics and somehow the cops found out you murdered someone in  
cold blood and took pics... it's a LONG story (no, this wasn't planned, it  
seriously wasn't). Maybe they won't find you because you're a shrimp, but  
start running just to be safe. Yeah, you can't hide out at my house... mainly  
because you'd murder me... and my closet is already being rented out, it's  
another long story. So, start running, Shorty McShorty-kins! =D

Edward: What? They found out about that?!? Who had a camera?!?

Alphonse: Brother!!! You didn't really do it, did you?

Ed: Of course…not.

Dani: Oh woah! Who'd you kill?

Ed: No one!

Dani: Sure. Run along, shorty, hide from the cops.

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE'S A SPECK ON THE BACK OF AN ANT?!?!?

Dani: For the last time…you! Anyways, next from FireNutZuko we have a question for Envy.

You're a cross-dressing palm tree that LOVES mini-skirts. Get it  
through your thick head already! And don't call your adorable younger  
brothers "retards"! Okay, Ed can be idiotic at times, but Al's not all that  
idiotic... at least be a good role model to Al. If you be a good role model  
to Al until the day you die... no, you cannot commit suicide or intentionally  
be murdered... I'll stop calling you a "cross-dressing palm tree" and I'll  
quit calling... whatever it is you're wearing... a "mini-skirt". It's a  
one-time offer. Besides, if you don't agree, it'll only get worse, trust me  
on that. -nods-

Envy: First of all, I totally am not! Secondly, what would be the point? I'd already be dead when you stopped so I couldn't be around to enjoy it! Make a better offer and we'll see. Besides, they were only my brothers in the first anime. :P

Dani: …Next is for Gluttony!

Quit eating people, that's like... cannibalism (you were once  
human, right?). Canibalism is wrong and is frowned upon in most socities.  
-nods-

Gluttony:…..Can I eat them?

Dani: No, Gluttony, you may not eat the nice reviewers. They're right, you know. Canibalism is wrong, for all you kids reading! Don't eat other humans, despite the fact that the Cinnamon Crunch Toast commercials make it seem okay. Our next question is from Moonrise31 for Fuery.

How bad are your eyes? Like, um, would you totally fail your eye  
test or would you be able to see the letters if you squinted?

Fuery: I can see the letters, if I try very hard. The glasses are mainly to make me look cute, I could afford contacts if I wanted.

Dani: I knew it! Next, for Havoc.

You know in the first anime you always seem to have a cigarette in  
your mouth but it never seems to be lit? Maybe you already quit and you just  
don't know it ;)

Havoc: *runs and watches first anime*

*About 12 hours later*

Havoc: Holy crap, you're right! Maybe I'm not a hardcore chain smoker after all…

Dani: EVERYTHING I KNEW WAS A LIE!!!

Roy: Err…Dani is having a mental breakdown soo… I'll read the next question. It's for Riza.

Yes! Roy and Riza finally admitted their love! :D All Royai fans (that  
includes me) are now very happy. But I've always wondered why it was called  
Royai? I mean, I understand that "ai" means love, but when did Riza's name get  
turned into that? Though it does make you special :D

Riza: I never understood that either. I guess translated it would simply mean RoyLove. Maybe they forgot to add the "Riza" or something. Or maybe they took the "a" from the end of my name and the "I" from the beginning and made that into a word! Who knows with fangirls?

Roy: I agree.

Edward: You always agree with her.

Riza: *pulls out gun and points it at Ed* Is that a problem?

Edward: No!

Roy: Good. Moving on. Dani is in a corner, muttering about Havoc and cigarettes, so I'll ask this one too. It's for Breda.

I think your phobia of dogs was because of a traumatic childhood  
incident. You should go to a therapist.

Breda: What? I think you're insane! I just don't like the little beasties! And I'm not going to see any rapist!

Roy: What?

Dani: *Suddenly okay* Haven't you noticed that "Therapist" Could also be read "The Rapist"? It's how I know how to spell it.

Roy: You have problems.

Dani: Shut up! Our last question from Moonrise31 is for Ed.

You know if you just stop freaking out about it, people won't call you  
short as much, because it's no fun anymore *looks at Roy* My little sister  
(three years younger) is taller than me (like, by a centimeter, but still) and  
it's really annoying when people point it out, but you should learn to just  
smile and wave... you can punch them in the face later :D I was kidding on the  
last part! Kidding, okay? Maybe you should go join Breda in therapy... ;P

Edward: I can't help it.

Roy: Fullmetal has a _short _temper.

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN A SQUISHED FLEA?!?!

Roy: *Laughs*

Dani: *Also laughing* Ne-next question! From Anonymos1996! It's for…everyone!

What do you think of the x-overs and the Yaoi and/or Yuri pairings  
(Just because I got an awesome reaction from Ed)? And what do you think of  
Neko!Ed? *KAWAII!*

Roy: Personaly, I like the crossovers, but the yaoi and yuri pairings I could defiantly do without. They're very….unrealistic. Why would I have a crush on Edward? Or Maes? It's dumb. And as for Neko!Ed, I won't answer that because I think Ed's been pissed off enough in this chapter.

Riza: I agree with the Colonel on the first two. As for the last one? Ed makes a kawaii kitty!

Envy: Ooh, I love yaoi!

Everyone else: WHAT?!?!

Envy: Kidding!

Dani: I don't think so.

Envy: I WAS!

Dani: *singing* Envy's gay Envy's gay!

Envy: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Dani: *sweatdrop* Next question! For Edward!

If you don't want to drink milk, you can still eat a LOT of dairy  
products and maybe there are vitamins for you... did you know?

Ed: I'll take it into consideration.

Dani: Next for the girls.

When the dudes got all romantic wasn't it so ... romantic?

Winry: *Bats eyelashes* Oh yes!

Dani: How out of character. Next question. is for Havoc!

When Fuery found Black Hayate why did you say that you wanted eat it  
? Do you really eat dogs ? And do you like cats ? Or do you want to eat cats  
too ? *scared*

Havoc: It was a freaking joke! Everyone took it seriously. Man, anyone else hungry?

Black Hayate: *runs away*

Havoc: I do like cats, not to eat, either!

Dani: Next question! For Hughes!

Your daugther is so cute ! I love her ! And you are a wonderful  
daddy, you know it ? By the way, did you ever think to give Elicia a little  
brother/sister ?

Hughes: Wanna see pictures? *Pulls out wallet full of nothing but pictures* Looooookkk!

Everyone: *groans*

Dani: Answer the other one!

Hughes: Does she need a sibling? She's so cute on her own! Look at this one!

Dani: NEXT QUESTION! For Al!

Could you look after my cats (I have 9 cats) while I'm having class at  
university ?

Al: Of course! 3

Dani: Next question is for Roy.

Do you want to do my paperwork ? Or burn it ? I hate it !

Roy: Are you kidding? I can't even do my own paperwork! I'll burn it though!

Dani: Good! Next question is from 2NE1~DARA~CL~Minji~BOM~ for Everyone.

Do you use the toilet? cause I don't remember ever..mentioning  
it [I'm NOT referring to showers]

Everyone: Of course! Just not on-screen!

Dani: Next question for Hughes.

Just how much money did/do you waste on pictures?? :o cause really

it's amazing

Hughes: I got my pictures developed for really cheap! Some place called "Wal-Mart?" I dunno. Wanna see 'em?

Dani: No! I mean, we still have tons of questions to answer….Like this next one! For manga Sloth.

do you know about Pythagoras thingy? *doing maths hw* --  
please ignore if it's stupid enoguht..which it is

Sloth: What? I'm tired…

Dani: We're going to break here and I'll answer the next questions in the next chapter! Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Dani: Welcome back! Our next questions come from .Secrets! First, for Al!

Have you been hiding in your suit of armor all this time??

Alphonse: No….

Dani: Are you sure?

Al: No! Really!

Dani: Okay…next is for Kimbly!

*hides behind Envy while asking the question* Why do you like to blow up  
people? You know, you're never going to get a girlfriend if you make them  
explode before they ask you out!!

Envy: *pats head*

Kimbly: I LIKE EXPLODING PEOPLE! And I don't need a girlfriend!

Dani: Next question is for Ed!

I don't like milk. I only drink it when i put flavoring in it, and yet I  
barely do. But I ended up tall!! So, you're not short because you don't drink  
milk! So yeah.

Edward: HA! I TOLD YOU, WINRY!

Winry: *rolls eyes*

Dani: Last question from .Secrets, and it's for Envy!

Would you kill me if I gave you a hug?

Envy: Not if you keep it under five seconds.

Dani: Aww. The next questions come from CrazyMellow102 It's for Dante.

I can't believe I'm asking this but... TURN ME INTO A HOMUNCULUS!

Dante: Eh, why not.

Dani: O.o Kinda scary. Next is for Ed.

I know what your true height is!! You can't deny it! It's 4'11! And  
no you're not short, there are a lot of people even shorter than you are...  
Give me a hug?!

Edward: MAYBE I GREW! And just because you said I'm not short, I will give you a hug.

Dani: Yay hugs! Next for Envy!

BE NICER TO ED!! He's your brother! You can't deny it! I know! (Calm  
down!) Ehem, anyway hug?!

Envy: I don't wanna be nice! And no, I don't want a hug! Hug Al instead!

Dani: So mean! Next for Sloth.

We're the same! I'm so lazy! DX

Sloth: *asleep*

Dani: Our next question comes from Noah the Devil Huntress, for Lust.

Sorry for the rude question, Lust here's something to make up for it. *hand a  
box of Caprisuns over*

Lust: *takes box of Caprisuns* Thank you, all is well.

Dani: Next questions are from AnimeCookie93. First for Riza.

Did you mean what you said in the OVA "Chibi Wrap Party"? (I would like  
to thank the producers... for making our relationship subtle... I wouldn't  
want to be in an affair that would probably fail) blah blah...

Riza: At the time, I did mean that, but now that I've tried it out, I've decided that I was wrong.

Dani: Hurray! Next for Edward.

Here... *hands growth chart* I didn't grow until I was 10, and then I had  
a growth spurt here... (points to age 15)... and, again I say, don't worry...  
(sorry, Win, I'm just trying to prove a point...) I LIKE the short ones... :3  
(alright, don't worry, I have a boyfriend...)

Edward: *smiles* Thank you very much. You deserve a cookie. But I ate them all.

Dani: IT WAS YOU?!? I wanted a cookie you jackass! Next is for me!

Have you seen "Vic Mignogna- Ed Proposes to Winry"? it is the best, and  
I can totally picture them doing it like this... look on YouTube, it's pretty  
funny.

Dani: I have! That video was so hilarious, especially how he kept on pausing to say "This is good." I could totally seeing Ed proposing to Winry that way!

Our next question is for Roy and Havoc.

In your personal opinion... "DO THESE JEANS MAKE ME LOOK  
FAT?!" answer truthfully, whoever gets the answer "right" gets a date with  
meh... :)

Havoc: Umm..no?

Roy: Of course not.

Dani: Random. Next, from LoveStories! The first one is for Edward.

Did you know there's a homunculus you? lol! *gives Ed new boots*

Edward: Yes! I've seen it! I think I looked sexy! Also, thank you for the boots?

Dani: Yay, boots! Next is for Envy!

Why do you like looking like a palmtree? Just asking... *Gives him a  
small brown hat*

Envy: I DON'T! *Takes hat* *eats*

Dani: That's not what that's for. Our next questions come from first lieutenant riza hawkeye! She's giving gifts!

Ed- a very big moving thing  
Al- a small moving thing  
Winry- a soft thing  
Breda- a small barking thing  
Roy- something that sounds like liquids  
Riza- something that sounds porcelain  
Havoc- a thick and big something  
Fuery- a small thing  
Falman- a big thing  
Bradely- a small thing  
Pride*manga*/selim- a soft thing  
Envy- something in boxes  
Gluttony- something small  
Wrath*anime*- small thing  
Lust- something soft  
Greed- a hard small thing  
Sloth*manga*- a big thing  
Sloth*anime*- a small hard thing  
Alex Armstrong- something in a box  
Scar- a small moving thing  
Olivia Armstrong- something long  
Eckhart- a small thing  
guys open it next time okay? TNX!  
oops! i almost forgot!  
Dani!- hm i dont really know what you like so here!  
- people here are addicted to eat but not me! :D

Everyone: *looks at gifts* Thank you so much!

Dani: That was great! Now for the questions! Roy first!

I dare you to burn Riza's... *gulp* n-ne-never m-mind

Riza: *glare*

Dani: Next is for you, Riza.

Dont kill me! I am you and you are me! And reviewer abuse will cause  
millions of years of being Roy's slave!

Riza: …. *sigh* Fine.

Dani: Next is for Havoc

Give me those damn cigarettes NOW! Or else -_- *.*

Havoc: O.o *Gives cigarettes* Okay. I don't wanna know what the "or else" is…

Dani: Next is for Alphonse!

the kitty was the offender my dog wasn't doing anything!  
STUPID CATS *shows everyone pics of dead cats* *evil laugh*

Al: POOR KITTIES! *cries*

Dani: *tries to comfort Al* Review, everyone! See you next time!


	10. Chapter 10

Dani: And we're back! I got tons of great questions, you guys are the best! The first one of the day is from FireNutZuko! It's for Envy!

Darn your logic, but... Be nice to Al for a week and I won't call you a  
"Cross-dressing palm tree", I'll call your mini-skirt skorts or something, AND  
I won't call you a transvestite. Oh, I'll also give you your favorite food  
(as long as it's not human) for 2 weeks. What do ya think about that?

Envy: Hm…sounds good. Al! Ya want a kitten!

Alphonse: Yes! 3

Dani: Ah, brotherly love. Next is for Gluttony.

WHY do you always ask if you can eat people!? That's so wrong and  
disgusting! It's not natural! Do you even know what cannibalism is anyways?!  
Now that I think about it... would you ever eat the other homunculi if there  
were no living humans nearby?

Gluttony: …..I can eat them?

Dani: *Sigh* I guess you could, it would be sick though.

Gluttony: Hey, Envy! I need to talk to youu…..

Dani: ….Next question! It's for Edward.

Yeah... the cops are finding out where you are... so... start running  
pipsqueak! And don't rant about the "pipsqueak" part or else...

Edward: Ah! Crap! Wait, what's the 'or else'?

Dani: I'm sure you don't want to know.

Edward: *gulp*

Dani: *Evil smile* Now for our next question…

Ed: Wait! I have to know what the 'or else' is!

Dani: *ignoring Ed* Our next question is for Al.

How do you feel about people abusing, neglecting, and killing animals?

Alphonse: People do that?!? That's terrible! This needs to be stopped! I'm starting a campaign!

Envy: I'm with you, Bro! *Looks at FireNutZuko* I support my little brother and his goals. Good, huh?

Dani: *rolls eyes* Excellent, Envy. You're a saint.

Envy: I know, right? I'm so not a crossdressing palm tree.

Dani: No, you still are.

Envy: Dammit!

Dani: *laughs* Our next question is more of a…suggestion really. It's from Anonymos1996, for Ed and Al.

I dare you to kiss...

Edward: Ew! He's my brother, sicko!

Dani: *shrugs* Do what the reviewer says, Ed.

Edward: *Shudders* Sorry about this, Al.

Alphonse: Don't worry, Brother, we'll live…*cringes*

*Ed and Al quickly kiss, then pull away.*

Edward: *Runs off to clean out his mouth* I'M SORRY AL!

Alphonse: *Curled in a small ball on the floor* I-it's okay…

Dani: Poor Ed and Al… *sigh* Another suggestion. This one for Roy.

I dare you to propose to Ed, lol!

Edward: *just got back from bathroom* Aw…really?

Riza: Yes, you can't really expect him to do this, can you?

Dani: It's what the reviewer wants…

Roy: I guess I have to. *Sigh* Fullmetal, will you marry me?

Edward: No.

Roy: Thank God!

Dani: Okay, next from CrazyMellow102! The first is a sort of statement, for Dante.

Me loves being a homunculus... Thank you

Dante: Any time!

Dani: Okay, next is for Ed.

I wish I were your height... For no reason... lol!

Edward: See! It's a good height!

Roy: Who is he talking to?

Dani: I have no idea…

Roy: It doesn't matter if it's a good height, Fullmetal, it's still a short one!

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU CAN'T SEE HIM WITH A TELESCOPE?!?

Roy: I didn't say that, Ed.

Edward: You were thinking it.

Roy: So?

Dani: Next, we have something for Envy.

T^T I wanna hug from my fave homunculus!

Envy: I've given too many hugs lately!

Dani: Oh, come on! Just this once!

Envy: *Sigh* Fine. But you know the rules. No more than five seconds.

Dani: Hurray! Next is for Al!

Envy told me to give you a hug. *hugs!* And I wanna give you a kitty!  
*Gives a golden tabby kitty* Kittys are awesome. =3

Alphonse: Yay! I love hugs! :3 *takes kitty* Thanks! You're the best!

Dani: I never got a hug…*looks at Roy and smiles*

Roy: Really? Why me?

Dani: Because you're my favorite! Pwease? *cute eyes*

Roy: *sigh* Fine. *Hugs Dani quickly*

Dani: *hugs back* Hurray!!! My life is complete!!! 3 Our next question is for Winry.

Automail is cool... Here's a new wrench! *hands a shiny wrench to  
Winry*

Edward: Don't give her that! She'll hit me with it!

Winry: Shut up! *takes wrench and hits Ed with it* Thank you for the wrench, by the way. I love it!

Dani: Our next question is for anime Wrath.

I'll give you a big smily face cookie! *hands a giant smily  
face cookie*

Wrath: Hurray! *takes cookie and eats* I love you now!

Dani: Hopefully that cookie doesn't have too much sugar.

Wrath: *Eyes widen*

Dani: Back to the closet with you! *locks Wrath in closet*

*Various thumping noises from inside closet*

Dani: Why must you all insist on giving him sugar?!? Our next question comes from LoveStories. The first is for Envy.

You weren't supposed to eat it! It was supposed to be worn on top of  
your head and people think you're more of a palm tree! *hand covers mouth*  
Oops... *Runs behind Ed* Don't kill me!

Envy: I am so not a palm tree! I'm glad I ate that hat!

Edward: *Protects the reviewer* No eating hats! Or reviewers!

Envy: :P

Dani: Our next question is for Ed.

You're welcome! I love the homunculus you too! You're awesome both ways!  
XDXD

Edward: Thank you! I know, I'm supersexy!

Dani: And not full of yourself at all! *Rolls eyes*

Ed: How can I _not_ be full of myself? Have you seen how sexy I am?

Dani: Did you switch brains with Roy?

Roy: Hey, I'm not _that_ bad. Though I _am_ the sexiest man alive…

Dani: That totally proves my point. Anyways, now LoveStories has a present for Roy! A big fluffy teddy bear!

Roy: *Takes teddy bear* I'm so happy! I'll cherish it forever!

Dani: If _I_ gave you something would you cherish it forever?

Roy: Ermm…of course!

Dani: Hmmm…*gives Roy a framed picture of self* There!

Roy: It's…beautiful. I'll hang it up in my apartment…

Dani: Hurray! Our next question comes from BugzAttack! The first one is for Bradely!

Whats with the melons? Is that the only fruit you like?

King Bradely: Pretty much, yeah.

Dani: Our next question is for Envy, from the manga!

How do the 'guess my weight games" at the fair make you  
feel? (Due to your true form's size you must weigh more than gluttony...**...)  
Also, how does it feel to be a SHRIMP even SMALLER then Ed, (and carried in a  
little jar no less.)

Envy: Never once have they guessed my weight. I get so many great prizes off those things. And I always share them with Al! *Glances at FireNutZuko* Because I love my brother.

Dani: *rolls eyes* Suck up. Next, for Mei Chan!

Do you believe you and Alphonse have something together? I know you  
don't really like Ed, if Al and you are married will he be invited to the  
wedding?

Mei Chan: Well, I do believe me and Alphonse-sama have something special! 3 And Ed is Alphonse-sama's brother, so I suppose he can come.

Al: Who said anything about a wedding?

Dani: The reviewer! See? *points* Right there. Anyways, the next question is for Pride from the manga.

Stalking is not a turn on for girls,if your that into Hawkeye  
tell her how you really feel, I dare you =P

Pride: Who said I liked Hawkeye?

Dani: The reviewer…do I have to keep pointing this out? Anyways, our next question is for Riza.

Does Mustang really call you Riza when you are alone, or was that  
just something you said to trick Envy? What else is going on between you two  
that we don't know about?

Riza: At the time, I said it to fool Envy, but he really does call me Riza sometimes. Also, we do have a private relationship but I won't talk about it.

Dani: Aw. Our next question is for Ling Yao/Greed

YOU ARE THE COOLIST CHARACTER! I LOVE YOU IN A CREEPY STALKER WAY AND SQUEELED AND FLAILED HAPPLY WHEN YOU FOUGHT BRADLY! YOU ARE SO BADASS!  
ROCK ON!!

Ling: I know, I pwned in that fight! I am amazing, right?

Dani: You are! I love you as well. Almost as much as I love Roy!

Roy: Competition?

Dani: No one can compete with you, Roy! But I do love Ling!

Ling: *smirks*

Dani: Next question! It's for Doctor Knocks

No one writes fanfiction about you, how does it feel to know you  
aren't loved?

Dr. Knocks: It doesn't feel good! Not good at all! *cries*

Dani: Poor guy. Next question is for Roy!

I dare you to go up and KISS OLIVER ARMSTRONG! Let Ed take a video so if  
she kills you I can watch!

Roy: What?!?! But-

Dani: No buts! *hands Ed video camera* Do it!

Roy: You would be upset if I died!

Dani: I'm the author, remember? I won't kill off my favorite character! Now do it.

Roy: *sigh* Major General Armstrong! Come here, please!

Oliver Armstrong: What is it, Colonel Mustang?

Roy: *Kisses Oliver*

Oliver Armstrong: *Pushes Roy away* YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

Roy: THE REVIEWER TOLD ME TO! I'M SORRY!

Oliver: ……Go die.

Dani: Next question! It's for Alex Armstrong!

Like wise, you should give your sister a hug...see what happens.

Alex: OF COURSE! I LOVE HUGGING MY SISTER! *hugs sister*

Oliver: EVERYONE LEAVE ME ALONE!

Dani: Before she explodes, our next question! It's for manga Lust!

MUHAHAHA BURN BABY BURN BURN!

Lust: So mean!

Dani: *Laughing* You have to admit it's funny.

Lust: IT IS NOT!

Dani: Okay, okay. Next question. From laitue, for Kimblee!

How do you do to have such beautiful hair ? Who is the man you want  
to blow up the most ? (I'm a NOT a man so don't answer : "You" !)

Kimblee: Lots of conditioner. Also, I would love to blow up Roy Mustang, but Dani won't let me. *sigh* Oh well.

Dani: Damn right I won't let you! Next question is for Archer!

Do you agree with me if I said that you are an evil bastard ? Do you  
never want to tan ?

Archer: I am an evil bastard! Ha! Also, being pale makes me sexy.

Dani: It does not!

Archer: Shut up!

Dani: Okay, now for our next question. It's for Roy!

Will you protect me if Archer try to shoot me because I gave him a kick?

Roy: Sure.

Dani: Good Roy. Now, our next question is from .Secrets for Envy!

Yay! *hugs* One...two...three...four...done! :]

Envy: Good job. *Hands cookie*

Dani: Ahem.

Envy: *also hands one to Al*

Dani: Nice. Now we have a question for Al!

Would you kill a cat if I paid you five million dollars?

Alphonse: No. Of course not.

Envy: *hugs Al* HOW COULD YOU ASK SUCH A THING OF MY ADORABLE LITTLE BROTHER?!?

Dani: Next, a question for Edward.

Maybe you could try buying yourself one of those stretcher things and stretch yourself out?

Ed: Would that work?

Dani: I dunno, but you should try it.

Ed: Good point.

Dani: Next, a question for Lust.

Who do you prefer more as a mate/boyfriend? Envy or  
Gluttony? Personally, I'd pick Envy for two reasons! 1] He doesn't eat people  
2] He'd kick any guys butt that'd try ta hurt me :P

Lust: *shrugs* Envy, I guess.

Dani: Why?

Lust: He can change to any guy I want! 3

Dani: What a terrible reason! Anyways, our next question is for Envy.

Who would YOU prefer more as a mate/girlfriend? Lust or some other girl or homunculus? lol

Envy: I fly solo. I don't need a girlfriend.

Dani: Well, there you have it! Until next time, remember to review!


	11. The REAL chapter 11

Dani: Hello, everyone, and welcome to our latest chapter! I have to say, there's been some confusion. I accidently put up chapter 9 again, so here's the REAL chapter 11! It's fixed! Hurray! I'm pretty excited, we have some great questions to answer! The first one comes from Anonymos1996, for Edward.

I found a few pics of you shirtless online... your fricking  
HAWT! *Ps, I'm thinking of dressing up as you for Halloween, and yes, I'm a  
girl.

Roy: You don't need to look for shirtless pictures of Ed online, he's always taking his shirt off in the anime to show people his automail arm. He could roll up his sleeve but _no_,he just_ has_ to rip his whole shirt off.

Edward: Hey! You shut up, no one asked you! I know I'm sexy, you don't have to tell me. Also, why would you dress up as me if you're a girl? Not that I'm not flattered, but why not dress up as a_ girl_ from the show? Like the Colonel!

Roy: Hey!

Dani: Roy is defiantly not a girl!

Roy: Yeah, want proof?

Dani: Ahem. I still don't want to have to up the rating, so no, he doesn't need proof. Anyways, next question. From Moonrise31 for Dante.

Did you know that there's a Renaissance writer who wrote some sort of  
comedy that has the same name as you? Just saying... I don't know much about  
you because I skipped the last part of the first anime since it got boring…

Dante: Really? Also, you skipped the only part of the anime I'm in?!? Why?!?

Dani: Because it had trailed so far away from the manga the only thing they shared was the name? You weren't even_ in_ the manga, Dante!

Dante: Really? So where'd I come from?

Dani: No idea! Anyways, the next question is for Envy.

Alright, I believe you, it's a skort. Are you happy?

Envy: YES! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES ME! I LOVE YOU! Almost as much as I love my little brother Al! *Smiles at FireNutZuko*

Dani: Dude, you still have another week!

Envy: Dammit!

Dani: Watch your language around your little brother!

Envy: Sorry.

Dani: Good. Now, we have a question for Roy.

In the two minutes that Riza was in the movie, you left her when  
she wanted to come with you. Did you make up afterwards or what?

Roy: I left Riza because I didn't want her to get hurt. I could never live with myself if that happened. I told her this and I think she forgave me, though it did take time.

Dani: Blah blah blah.

Roy: Hey!

Dani: You're making this boring! So we'll move on. Our next question is from iTorchic for Havoc.

Can I go on a date with you? I'm lonely :(

Havoc: Do you even have to ask?!? Of course I'll go on a date with you!

Roy: Or you could go on a date with me.

Riza: No, she can't. *pulls out gun*

Roy: I mean of course you can't because I am already in love! *sweatdrop*

Dani: You better sweatdrop, you whore! Geez, how could you try to take Havoc's girlfriend _again?_

Roy: *shrugs*

Dani: *rolls eyes* Whatever. Next question! It's for Ed!

*gives ed stilts* Ed, I want you to sing 'don't stop believing' while  
wearing a red puffy and sparkly shirt. It has to be the entire song, at it's  
actual tempo. :P

Edward: WHAT?!? This sounds so…planned!

Dani: It probably is planned. But you have to do it.

Edward: *sigh*

*Edward puts on sparkly red shirt and stands on stilts*

Dani: I'm supposed to record this! *pulls out video camera* Okay, go!

Edward: *singingJust a small town girl  
Livin' in a lonely world  
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy  
Born and raised in south Detroit  
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

A singer in a smoky room  
A smell of wine and cheap perfume  
For a smile they can share the night  
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting  
Up and down the boulevard  
Their shadows searching in the night  
Streetlight people  
Living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill  
Everybody wants a thrill  
Payin' anything to roll the dice just one more time

Some will win, some will lose  
Some were born to sing the blues  
Oh, the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting  
Up and down the boulevard  
Their shadows searching in the night  
Streetlight people  
Living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night

Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to that feelin'  
Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'  
Hold on  
Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to that feelin'  
Streetlight people

Dani: That was….beautiful Ed.

Edward: Yeah, yeah.

Roy: *laughing*

Dani: I wouldn't be laughing! You're next!

Roy: Wha-?

Dani: Here's your question!

Sing 'I'm too sexy' XD

Roy: Oh! That's not bad, I sing that in the shower.

Dani: *facepalm*

Roy: *sings*I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan  
And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little tushy on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little tushy on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song

Dani: *sigh* That was great. Now for my question.

Record both and send me copies!

Dani: *looks at camera* Both are recorded! *sends videos to iTorchic* Enjoy! Now, our next questions are from FireNutZuko! The first is for Envy.

Aw, you're such a good older brother! I'm so proud of you! -hugs  
while crying tears of happiness, quickly backs away and hides behind Roy-  
Remember, you have to keep it up for the rest of the week!

Roy: Why does everyone want to hide behind me?!?!?

Dani: Because they expect their future Fuher to protect them?

Roy: *sigh* I never agreed to this…

Envy: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THEY CAN HUG ME?!?!? I'm a manipulative bastard! Everyone's supposed to hate me!

Dani: *shrugs* You fail at being hated.

Envy: Dammit!

Dani: Next question is for Alphonse.

How does it feel having Envy be so fricken nice to you?! Ed's never let  
you have a cat... or any pet for that matter.

Al: It's great! *cuddles cat* Brother's good too, but you're right about one thing, he never let me have a cat! 3

Dani: Hurray for good older brothers! Next we have a question for Gluttony.

You cannot eat Envy until next month! Also, why do you have a  
one-track mind?

Gluttony: Next month? Aw. I just get hungry. Can I eat you?

Dani: No, you can't eat her. Bad Gluttony. *sprays with water*

Gluttony: *wimpers*

Dani: Our next question is for Edward.

Congratulations! The cops arrested some other short blonde with a  
mechanical arm and leg! Aren't you happy?! Since you wanted to know so  
badly, the 'or else' part would've been 'or else I'm gonna chop you up and  
feed you to Gluttony, piece by piece'. That would've been a cruel and unusual  
way to die.

Edward: Yes! I'm off the hook! Also, that is a cruel and unusual way to die! I'm glad I didn't complain.

Gluttony: I'm not.

Edward: *backs away slowly*

Dani: *sweatdrop* Next question…it's for Havoc

Why did you smoke in the hospital that one time? Sick people kinda  
want a smoke-free zone. Are you seriously an idiot?!

Havoc: *shrugs* I figured they'd get over it. I need my smoke, after all.

Dani: *nod* I don't think they would just 'get over it' though. You probably gave someone a heart attack.

Havoc: Oh well.

Dani: You heartless bastard! Next question is for Alex Armstrong.

I really want to know what HASN'T been passed through your  
family for generations.

Alex: ….My devishly handsome good looks?

Dani: That works, I suppose. Anyways, our next question is for me! My second one this chapter! I'm so excited! 3

You should really let Anime!Wrath out of that closet... I'm starting  
to fear for his mental stability... if he has any left...

Dani:…. I fear for everyone else's mental stability I _do_ let him out…

Everyone else: *nodnod*

Dani: Anyways, our next questions come from laitue! The first is for Archer.

*run, beat Archer and hurt him badly*

Archer: *dies*

Dani: *cheers* Now, for everyone else!

Yeah ! That was cool, no ?

Everyone else: Yes! It was amazing!

Roy: I love you now! *holds up a 'We hate Archer sign* You're my hero!

Dani: Mine too! Next question is for Greed.

You see, I took revenge for you ! And I can give your skull back. Are you happy ?

Greed: I am very happy! Though I think my skull reduced to ashes. *sigh* Oh, well.

Dani: Next, for Archer.

Are you in pain ? If the answer is yes I'm happy : I like when  
you suffer and I write stories about your death ! *evil laugh* Don't try to  
shoot me otherwise Roy will burn you !

Archer: *wimpers* So cruel. I want to shoot you! *cries*

Roy: *Prepares to burn Archer*

Dani: Not yet, you have a question.

Please, burn his hair, he deserves it. I will do your paperwork if  
you set fire to him.

Roy: Gladly! *Burns Archer's hair and hands laitue his paperwork* Thank you!

Riza: *facepalm*

Dani: Yes! Best. Review. Ever. Our next questions come from CrazyMellow102. The first is for Envy!

*hugs* one... two.. three..! Yay! I got a hug! =D

Envy: *sigh*

Dani: Yay for hugs! Congrats! Our next question is for Al!

You're welcome! =D

Alphonse: Yay for happy faces! :D

Dani: Our next question is for me! 3 in one chapter! This is the best day ever!

I wanna give you a cookie! =D *gives cookie*

Dani: O.o This really is the best day ever! *eats cookie with milk*

Edward: Ewww… milk….

Dani: Shuddup, milk is our_ favorite _in the MSA!

Roy: Woo! *highfives Dani*

Dani: Yeah! Our next questions come from LoveStories! The first is for Ed.

*hugs Edo* Your my new best friend! =D *gives a cookie*

Edward: Hurray, I have a new friend! *eats cookie _without_ milk*

Dani: Weirdo. Next, we have one for Roy

*hugs Roy* I'm glad you like the teddy bear! =D

Roy: Of course I love it. I love gifts! 3

Dani: You hung up that picture, _riigghht_?

Roy: Err…of course!

Dani: Good! Now we have a question for Anime!Wrath.

Heres a cookie! *hands Wrath a cookie*

Wrath: *Takes cookie and eats*

Dani: While he's eating that, a question for everyone else!

Run 'cause that cookie has A LOT of sugar. *big smile*

Everone: WHY?!?!? *cries*

Dani: *locks Wrath back in the closet again* Now, our next questions come from Nellabelle! The first is for Oliver.

Why do you not like your brother! You need to have sibling love! Take Envy  
for example! He is the perfect example of brotherly love!

Oliver: He's too…affectionate, I guess. And Envy's only 'the perfect example of brotherly love' so people won't call him a crossdressing palmtree.

Dani: This is true. Next question is for Bradley's wife.

Do you know that your son and husband are humonculi? just askin.'

Bradley's wife: What's a humonculi?

Dani: I'll take that as a 'no'. Our next question is for Edward.

If you don't like milk, try adding Ovaltine! That's what I drink with milk to  
make it taste good. Try it! I dare you! Muahahahaha!

Edward: I have to?

Dani: Yes.

Edward: *puts Ovaltine in milk and drinks* Eeew! *runs to bathroom*

Dani: I don't think he likes it. The next question is for Al.

Do you like milk? 'Cause it would seem weird that your brother doesn't like  
milk and you do like milk. And do you like Envy's brotherly love towards you?  
It's the sweetest thing!

Al: Actually I do like milk. It's the best. And Envy's 'brotherly love' is…er…kinda creepy.

Envy: Hey! But I love you!

Al: Er…okay…

Dani: Awkward… next question! It's for Riza.

How can you like Roy if he is always womanizing over other ladies? That's  
very unattractive, you know. Are you like a girl that goes for any guy? If  
you are and I think you are, go ask out Havoc right now!

Roy: Hey! I find that offensive!

Riza: So do I. I do not go for 'just any guy' and will not ask out Havoc because I do not like him.

Dani: That's all the questions we have for this chapter! Thank you all for your reviews, I'll see you all next time! Don't forget to review!


	12. Chapter 12

Dani: Welcome back everyone! We got tons of questions for this chapter, so it'll be a long one. The first questions are from Noah the Devil Huntress! It's for the palmtree!

Envy: Hey!

Dani: I mean Envy!

Have you ever considered brushing your hair? You'll get more stalkers, you know.

Envy: I do brush my hair! It takes globs of gel and hours of styling to get it like this! And I don't _want_ stalkers!

Dani: Why not? In anime, the more stalkers you are, the cooler you are!

Envy: I don't want to be cool! I want to be a manipulative bastard!

Dani: You fail. Our next question is for Edward!

I hope this makes you feel better about your height. Anyway, I'm 14 years  
old and most of the kids in my class are either just as tall as me or taller  
and I'm 5'5! And they are 11, 12, or 13! It's nuts!

Edward: That does make me feel a little bit better…

Dani: It shouldn't. She's taller than you.

Ed: Shut up!

Dani: I'm the author. If I shut up, there's no story! Our next question is for Alphonse.

I have a fat cat at home. You want her?

Al: Okay! 3

Dani: Next question! It's for Anime!Wrath.

There is only one title for you..."Cute, but kinda evil."

Edward: Kinda? That bastard stole my limbs!

Dani: But he is cute.

Wrath: *cute smile*

Dani: Awz! Next question is for Roy.

Have you ever caught yourself on fire before? (You don't have to answer this...)

Roy: Once, in my younger days, when I was still in the military academy. I haven't done it since, it was quite painful.

Dani: Poor Roy. 3

Roy: I know, it was terrible!

Dani: Our next questions come from Beanzalib. The first is for Ed.

Now that your taller then Winry and you can date her! Why do you think  
she calls you short, by association , she mini as well.

Winry: Short? Me? No wai!

Dani: Well, actually, you're defiantly not tall for your age…

Ed: HA! I'm not the only one the size of a bean!

Dani: You just admitted you were shoorrrtt!

Edward: Damn!

Dani: Our next question is for Riza!

What are your plans for the future after Roy becomes Führer, quit the military or not?

Riza: When Roy is Führer, he'll need extra protection. I will remain enlisted to provide him with it.

Dani: Yay! 3 Next question is for Russel.

My sister loves you 'cause you're so cool!

Russel: I know, I'm amazing!

Dani: What's up with all the arrogance?

Roy: It's not arrogance if it's true, therefore I am _not_ arrogant!

Dani: By saying that, you are.

Roy:….Oh, well.

Dani: Next question is for Alphonse.

I love you. I love kitties. What are your thoughts on Mei? Why do you  
have brown hair in the anime?

Al: Thank you. I love kittens too. Mei is cool, I guess. She kinda reminds me of a rabid fangirl thought. I have brown hair in the anime because whoever had the crayons colored it brown.

Dani: Good answers. The next question is for Roy.

I dare you to read your wiki page and comment. .org/wiki/Roy_Mustang

Roy: *reads page* I think it's pretty accurate, though it forgot to mention how drop dead sexy I am.

Edward: *mumbles* Yeah, in a mini skirt.

Dani: O.o you have not _idea _what you just did.

Ed: What?

Fangirls: *glomp Ed* SAY THE LINE!

Ed: Ah! What line?!?

Fangirls: THE MINISKIRT LINE!!

Dani: I better help him. Roy, read these questions. *hands Roy questions*

Roy: Kay. Good luck!

Dani: I'll need it. *goes to help Ed*

Roy: The next question is for Winry.

What are your thoughts about when Roy flirted with you in book  
whatchamacalet when you came to central?

Winry: I wanted to kill him!

Roy: Er…next question! For Envy!

For the longest time I thought you were a girl. You sound like a girl.  
You FREAK!

Envy: I'm going to kill you now.

Roy: Dani won't like that!

Envy: *sweatdrop* Your lucky…

Roy: Our next question comes from beanzalib, for Envy.

Since you true form is a physco weird thing with no gender envy is not a  
boy but an it, and therefore can were miniskirts and bras

Envy: I don't know weather to say thanks or be mad, so I'll just give you a mean look. *gives mean look*

Roy: How creative.

Envy: You shut up!

Roy: Next question! Dani and Ed still aren't back…I hope they're okay…

Riza: Those fangirls looked especially rabid…

Roy: Yeah…Anyways, our next questions come from Beanzalib. Again. They posted multiple reviews… Anyways, the first one is for Ed, but he's still fighting off fangirls so I'll move to the second. It's for…I'm not sure? Everyone?

I made a game called Roy russle ed. It's like rock paper sisors. Ed is a fist, Russel is the middle and index finger twisted together (sign language for R) and Roy is a snap! Russel beats Roy, Roy beats Ed, And Ed Beats Russel

Roy: Okay, first of all, I would beat Russel _and_ Ed, making it an unfair game.

Riza: Don't listen to him, I think it's great.

Roy: :P

*Edward and Dani come back looking dirty with clothes torn*

Dani: We're…back…*falls over* Roy, ask the next couple of questions, I need to catch my breath.

Roy: Okay. Ed, here's your next question.

My cousin is 21 and is shorter then you, her sister is like a foot taller  
then you. Also one comedian said that short guys live longer then tall guys,  
which is why women like tall guys. Also, I think you hate Russel because he  
reminds you of Roy but you can't punch Roy. I hate milk too! Let's start a  
club!

Edward: That makes me feel better, thanks. And, hah, I'll live longer than everyone here! Also, I do hate Russel, but I could so hit the Colonel if I really wanted to.

Roy: Only if you really wanted to die.

Ed: No one asked you!

Roy: *sticks out tounge* Our next questions come from beanzalib. Again. The first is for Riza.

The whole tattoo thing with Roy... Sketchy. I live my life on the dream that Roy will actually call you Riza when there alone

Riza: Er…okay. We didn't do anything, I didn't even take my whole shirt off. He only had to see my back… Also he does, sometimes.

Roy: *nodnod* Next one is for the sexy Flame Alchemist.

HOW DARE YOU YELL AT RIZA FOR BEING SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE! APOLOGIZE!

Roy: What?!? I'm sorry? But what did I do?

Dani: *stands up and takes paper from Roy* I'uno. I'll be asking the questions again now. The next ones come from AnimeCookie93. The first is for Anime!Lust

My sister loves you!! Okay... back to me... lol... do you  
remember much about your past? And, even if you don't, do you love Scar even  
after he dies??

Lust: Tell your sister thanks. Also, I only remember flashes of my past, and I kind of loved Scar, but only because he reminds me so much of the man I truly loved, his older brother.

Scar: WHAT?!? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL! *emo*

Dani: Random. The next one is for Anime!Gluttony.

What happened to you where you turned into a homunculus?  
What was your name and stuff, I mean... how did you die??

Gluttony: Don't remember. Can I eat you?

Dani: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO EATING REVIEWERS! The next question is for Alphonse.

Don't you think Envy's trying a lil' too hard? *sticks tongue out  
at Envy*

Envy: *bites tongue*

Dani: *hits Envy* NO! BAD ENVY!

Envy: *wimpers*

Alphonse: I agree, he is trying waaay to hard.

Envy: But little brother, I LOVE YOU! *clings to Al and smiles at FireNutZuko*

Dani: *rolls eyes* The next is for Ed and Winry.

How old are you guys in this "story"? How tall are you? And, lastly, Edward and Ed ALONE! (:D) what would you rather do: find the Uranium bombs sent over x years ago, or go directly home to Winry?

Edward: We're as old as you want us to be! This story had absulotly no plot, so none of that matters! xD And I'd rather go home to Winry and Al any day!

Winry: Aw!

Dani: Aw indeed! Our next questions come from the-vampire-alchemist. The first is for Roy.

(Please don't kill me I love Roy but its fun to  
abuse him and I count this as payback for all those women he treated like  
tissues) I dare Roy to play patty-cake with Ed...(Cuz of the clappy thing, you  
know.)

Roy: Sit down, Fullmetal!

Dani: No complaints? Good job! *gives Roy a cookie*

Roy: *eats cookie happily*

Edward: *sits down across from Roy*

*Roy and Ed play patty-cake*

Dani: *laughing* Very good. The next question is for Edward.

I feel your pain I'm short (you're taller then me  
by...*whispers in Ed's ear*) and all of my friends are freakishly tall and they  
love tormenting me about it.

Dani: Same with me, about the mean tall friends!

Edward: Finally, someone who understands!

Dani: The next question is for everyone! Including me! 3

If you had to be a chimera what animal would you want it to be?

Dani: First of all, very creative question. I would like to be mixed with a wolf, if I had to choose.

Edward: I'd wanna be a bird. Get to fly.

Roy: A dog!

Al: A kitty!

Riza: A hawk.

Havoc: Whatever animal gets the most action!

Dani: The next questions come from FireNutZuko. The first is for Roy.

It's because you're so easy to hide behind and everyone knows you won't  
let any harm come to them! -nodnod- Then again... Riza would also be a good  
person to hide behind... just sayin'.

Roy: Is that a good thing?

Dani: *shrugs* It can be.

Roy: Then I'm happy.

Dani: The next question is for Envy.

I'm sorry, you just look so huggable at times. You're the perfect  
example of sibling love too! I wish you were my brother.

Envy: If I was your brother, would you call me a crossdressing palmtree?

Dani: I would.

Envy: No one asked you!

Dani: *shrugs* The next question is for Gluttony.

-hits with a metal baseball bat- YOU CAN'T EAT ME OR ANYONE ELSE...  
UNLESS WE'RE DEAD FIRST! NO! THAT ISN'T GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO KILL SOMEONE!

Gluttony: *wimpers* But I'm hungry.

Dani: *backs away* The next question is for Edward

... How would you feel if I actually DID chop you up into little pieces  
and fed you to Gluttony?

Edward: Very upset.

Dani: How predictable.

Ed: How would _you_ feel?

Dani: Good point. The next question is for Alphonse!

Here, have another kitty! -hands a cute adorable gray kitten- Don't  
worry, Envy will help you take care of all the cats... just make sure he  
doesn't feed them to Gluttony...

Dani: I have an adorable gray kitten! PM me if you wish to see a picture!

Al: *takes kitten* Yay! I would never let Gluttony eat my cats!

Gluttony: Ah, man!

Envy: YOU WON'T TOUCH MY BROTHER'S KITTTENS! *cuddles cat and Al and smiles at FireNutZuko*

Dani: *rolls eyes* The next question is for Oliver.

Do you agree with your brother that the only thing that hasn't been  
passed through the Armstrong family for generations is his "devishly handsome  
good looks"?

Oliver: I know I didn't get_ my_ good looks from_ him_, or my father.

Dani: True, you look nothing like Alex.

Oliver: *Nodnod*

Dani: The next question is for Havoc!

Be more considerate to other people. You'll be much more liked. ...  
Was that just like something you'd get in a fortune cookie? o_O

Havoc: Yeah, yeah. So I've been told.

Dani: It did sound like something out of a fortune cookie!

Havoc: *rolls eyes*

Dani: Our next questions come from LoveStories! The first is for Envy.

Here's a cookie for being nice to Al. =D *gives a cookie*

Envy: *Takes cookie and eats* Thanks.

Dani: The next question is for Dante.

What's so fun about being over 400 years old? O-o

Dante: The part where I never die?

Dani: So you enjoy watching your loved ones die around you?

Dante: Love is a weakness. I love no one.

Dani: But you loved Hoenheim.

Dante: NEVER SAY THAT NAME AGAIN!

Dani: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. The next questions come from laitue. The first is for Havoc!

You know when I was younger (2 ou 3 years ago) I loved you and  
thought you are the perfect man, then I realised that you are too tall for me. T_T  
But it doesn't matter because after that I saw Greed and fell in love and...Hum...Sorry...Forget that... All I wanted to say is that I have found the woman of your life Havoc :Catherine Elle Armstrong ! I know that your first date was a disaster but open your eyes : she is the perfect woman for you ! You will do a such lovely  
couple ! And she has all you love on a woman... Besides why are you so  
addicted to very big boobs ?

Havoc: I don't think Catherine likes me much, but she is very beautiful. Also, what guy doesn't like big boobs?

Dani: The good kind?

Havoc: Good luck finding one of those!

Dani: Our next question is for Alex Armstrong.

Will you help to make Havoc dating with your little sister ? Don't you think they will be cute together ?

Alex: It's my sister's choice, but they are cute together.

Dani: I agree! The next question is for me. Ha! I got a question! Take that Ed!

Edward: Huh? I get more questions than you!

Dani: Shuddup! Here's my question.

I love your story. *give a box of chocolate* It's for you but you  
can share if you want. ^^

Dani: Why would I share? Ima eat it all!

Roy and Al: *sad eyes*

Dani: Ah, fine. You each get a piece. But none for Ed!

Edward: Why do you hate me?

Dani: *shrugs* Because it's fun? Anyways, that's all our questions. But I have a new rule; ONE REVIEW PER PERSON FOR EACH CHAPTER! I almost went insane in this chapter, the same person reviewed like six times. I mean, it's great you like my story and want to ask lots of questions but do it in one review or it gets confusing. Thanks for all your reviews, everyone!


	13. Chapter 13

Dani: Hello everyone, welcome to our latest chapter! Our first questions today come from Nellabelle! The first is for Ed.

There's a place around the corner from my house, I think you should  
go there. It's anger management!

Edward: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! I DON'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!

Dani: That was a display of anger, proving that you _do_ need anger management.

Ed: IT WAS NOT!

Dani: So why are you yelling?

Edward: Just move on to the next question.

Dani: *sticks out tongue* The next question is for one of my personal favorite characters, Ling!

Roy: I thought I was your favorite!

Dani: I said _one_ of my favorites!

Roy: *sulks*

Dani: On to the question!

How come you never pay for anything, especially food? You can at least offer to pay, be a good guest to Amestris!

Ling: I don't have any money!

Dani: You're a friggin Prince!

Ling: That doesn't mean I have money!

Dani: *shrugs* Just stick to taking Ed's money and stay away from mine.

Ed: HEY!

Dani: There's that anger again. The next question is for Oliver Armstrong!

You're my favorite gal character, so please don't take this offensively. How come you don't have fun? Don't kill me!

Oliver: Who has time for fun?

Everyone else: You should really try it…

Dani: Moving on! Our next questions come from FireNutZuko! The first is for Roy.

It is a very good thing!

Roy: Good!

Dani: Done sulking?

Roy: T.T No.

Dani: I'm sorry! I still love you the most…hug?

Roy: *sigh* Why not? *hugs*

Dani: Yay! That's gonna make me happy for the rest of my life. Anyways, the next question is for Envy!

I'd only call you a "cross-dressing palm tree" if you made me real angry... or didn't do my homework for me. Be happy I'm such a nice person. =D

Envy: Hurray! I'll be your big brother, if you want! Only you'd have to accept Alphonse into the family as well because I would never leave him. *wink*

Dani: *Rolls eyes* I'm doing that often lately. Our next question is for Gluttony.

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT WANTING TO EAT PEOPLE?! -BEATS WITH STICK!-

Gluttony: *winey voice* But I'm hungry!

Dani: So eat a flippin' salad!

Gluttony: Ick! People are better!

Dani: That's just wrong! The next question is for Edward.

So, if someone did chop you up into little pieces and fed you to  
Gluttony, you would be upset because there was someone that was kind enough to  
kill you and make sure you have a... er... proper burial?

Edward: That and the fact that they would have _killed me_! Who cares about a burial if you're dead?!?!

Dani: So you would just want your body to rot?

Ed: I would want to be_ alive_!

Dani: Would you want to be a real boy?

Ed: Wha?

Dani: Forget it. Our next question is for Everyone!

Who would attend Ed's funeral and who wouldn't? =D

Edward: Oh come on!

Al: I would go!

Mei: If Alphonse-sama is going, I will to!

Ling: Will there be free food?

Ran Fan: I'm there if the young master goes.

Roy: I'd have better things to do.

Dani: Me too.

Ed: You two wouldn't even go to my funeral??

Dani: You just said it wouldn't matter if you were dead.

Ed: I changed my mind! You guys are assholes.

Dani and Roy: *shrug* We know.

Dani: Our next question is for Alphonse.

Don't you love it that Envy's helping you with the kitties?

Al: Yes! The extra help is great!!!

Envy: Any time, Bro! *smiles at FireNutZuko*

Dani: *sigh* The next one's for Havoc.

Give up smoking or else... you seriously don't wanna know what the  
"or else" is. Also, do you think I could get paid big bucks to be the writer  
for the pieces of paper inside the fortune cookie?

Havoc: It's not that easy!

Dani: They have pills! And gum!

Havoc: :P It's still hard. Maybe they would pay you to write in fortune cookies. Someone has to do it.

Dani: Yep! The next question is for Dante!

... Hohenheim... -hides behind Roy, Riza, and Ed-

Edward: WHY ME?!?!?

Roy and Riza: *shrug*

Dani: *Chuckles*

Dante: NEVER SAY THAT NAME! 'S NOT FUNNY!

Dani: *Hides with FireNutZuko behind Ed, Riza, and Roy*

Ed: I'll let her kill you.

Roy: *hits Ed* No.

Dani: Thanks, Roy!

Roy: Any excuse to hit Ed makes me smile.

Dani: Me too! The next questions come from AnimeCookie93! The first is for Anime!Wrath.

*ruffles hair* Why are you so damn cutee?? *gives hug*

Wrath: *giggles* I'uno.

Dani: ^^ He is supercute!

Wrath: *smiles*

Dani: When he's not high on caffine. The next question is for Anime!Envy.

Alright, you ******* cross-dressing palmtree, if you threaten to kill neone ever again, will crawl through this screen and show you a real threat! *smiles at Ed* and, don't let him steal all your glory! You ARE his TRUE TRUE older brother... stick up for yourself! :P

Envy: Ah? But killing is fun. Don't knock it till ya try it.

Ed: I _am_ the older brother! Hah!

Envy: *shrugs* Oh, well.

Dani: The next question is for Edward.

Do you prefer cats or dogs? In "Fullmetal vs. Flame", you had a  
flashback that involved you holding a cold, wet cat... how come you won't  
accept it now?

Edward: I guess I like cats more, but I couldn't let Al have one because we're always on the move. It wouldn't be fair to the cat, having to get lugged all over Amestris in search of the stone.

Al: But Brother! I want a kitty!

Ed: You heard me!

Dani: *facepalm* Next question! It's for Alphonse.

I think, overall, you are the most down to earth... *hugs* we could use kids like you in Lebanon... :D

Al: Thanks! *hugs back* :)

Dani: Moving on! Our next question is for Hohenheim!

What is it like to have two of your oldest sons hate you? I think  
you should be less passive aggressive and father them! You know, disipline and  
crap! (*sticks tongue out at Ed and Envy*)

Hohenheim: Maybe you're right…Ed, Envy! Next time you insult me, I'm going to…er…send you to your room?

Dani: It's a start.

Hohenheim: Thanks!

Ed and Envy: *roll eyes*

Dani: DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT YOUR FATHER! TELL 'EM HOHENHEIM!

Hohenheim: Er..yeah! What she said!

Dani: *facepalm* Our next question is for me! :]

Do you have any form of communication?? Maybe we can chat or  
somethin'... I could use more friends :D

Dani: Why yes, I do! I have Yahoo! Facebook, Myspace, and MSN Instant messenger. Of course I won't go naming usernames right now, but if you want any of those I can give you my usernames via PM or Review Reply. The offer is open to anyone who wants to talk to me. :D

Roy: *raises hand*

Dani: Umm…Roy?

Roy: Can I have your email address?

Dani: Are there even computers on that side of the gate?

Roy: No.

Dani: So what's the point?

Roy: I'uno. You said the offer was open so…

Dani: …Moving on! Our next question comes from Noah the Devil Huntress! Her question is for me! *sticks out tongue to everyone else*

Do you like Short bread cookies? If so, here's one. *Hands a cookie over*

Dani: *takes cookie* As a matter of fact, I_ do_ like _short_ bread cookies!

Edward: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE'S THE SIZE OF A MINIATURE COOKIE?!?!

Dani: *laughs* I didn't say that but oh, well. It's the truth.

Edward: DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL TEAR OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEADD!

Dani: xDDD As funny as this is, we need to move to our next question. It comes from laitue! It's for Havoc.

You are a jerk ! Catherine seems not like you much so you just give up  
? She saw you only one time, dammit ! You even didn't try to seduce her the  
last time. Ok she was quite rude but admit that you didn't make a big effort  
to impress her. You must show what type of good-looking man you are !  
I understand now how Roy could steal your girlfriends so easily, you don't  
seem to care about ! In my opinion your behaviour is offensive ! Act like a  
courageous man ! If you want to succed in love you must be ready to fight over  
a woman ! Now I want you to listen and obey : STAND UP, GO TO SPEAK TO CATHERINE AND SEDUCE HER ! NOW !

Havoc: I asked her on a date! She said no! What more do you want from me?!?

Alex: HE WILL NOT SEDUCE MY SISTER! *glomps Catherine*

Dani: O.o Armstrong might kill Havoc if he tries so…next questions! They come from the-vampire-alchemist! The first is for Envy!

Well I couldn't resist doing this... sorry about the random weirdness but...  
*glomps envy, reaches around his back and snaps the back of sports bra shirt  
thingy "POP"* HAHA! I KNEW IT, It is a bra! *ENVY: GLARES* oh crap... *runs  
away like a maniac*

Envy: Ah! What was that for! It _hurt_! *chases the-vampire-alchemist*

Dani: No! No chasing reviewers! *trips Envy*

Envy: *falls* Ow!

Dani: Good. Next, the-vampire-alchemist has gifts for everyone!

PRESENTS! A HUGE cookie for Dani, oh and a kitty, for Al, a pack of those  
candy cigarettes for Havoc, and some milky way darks for Ed(don't worry they  
don't taste like milk) oh and Roy, sorry bout the patty-cake thing with  
Ed...I'm just happy that he didn't accidently transmute you into something  
crazy. *huggles Roy, suddenly remembers she's being chased by the palm tree*  
AH!

Dani: *eats cookie* Everyone is giving me food! You guys rock!

Alphonse: KITTY!

Havoc: *looks at cigarettes then at FireNutZuko* *whistles casualy and picks up cigarettes* Heh.

Ed: *eats Milky Ways* You're right! Nothing like milk! Thanks!

Roy: Quick, hide behind me! Apparently there's some sort of safe haven back there!

Dani: *rolls eyes* Next question! It's from AnimeFangirl1167! For the Elric Brothers.

What would you do if you were randomly absorbed by the gate one day before you could save the country and get your bodies back?

Ed: Wow. That would _suck_! I don't know _what_ we would do!

Al: *shrugs*

Dani: Hm. Maybe you would play cards.

Ed and Al: What? Why?

Dani: Cards are always the answer where duct tape won't help!

Ed and Al: *facepalm*

Dani: Our last few questions of the chapter come from LoveStories! The first is for Ed.

I found this hoodie! *hands Ed a Fullmetal Alchemist hoodie* XD See it has your name on it! =D

Edward: What's a hoodie?

Dani: You poor deprived child! *hugs*

Ed: I don't understand…

Dani: *puts hoodie on Ed* Just wear it! And be happy!

Edward: Er…okay…

Dani: The next question is for Oliver Armstrong!

You're cool! I wanna give you a cookie! *gives cookie*

Oliver: What do I do with this?

Everyone else: Eat it!

Oliver: Okay…*eats cookie* Mmm! This is good! Thanks!

Dani: The next question is for Alex Armstrong!

I can't leave you out... That would be mean! =O So here's a cookie!  
*gives cookie and runs*

Alex: Why thank you! The love of cookies has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!

Dani: *sigh* We know.

Alex: How?

Dani: …Moving on! Our last question is for everyone!

Alright you all get a cookie!! *gives everyone a cookie and runs*

Everyone: Thanks! *eat cookies*

Dani: *while eating cookie* That's all we have for today. Remember, review and ask questions!


	14. Chapter 14

Dani: Okay, this chapter won't be the longest, but that is a good thing, for me anyways!

Edward: You lazy bum.

Dani: Shuddup! I don't like typing all day! Plus, I'm super busy today!

Edward: Sure you are.

Dani: I am so! My sister's having her baby, everybody! Ima be an aunt again! Anyways, I don't want to bore ya'll with my personal life, so we'll get to the questions! The first questions come from laitue. The first one is for everyone!

Ok I failed in making Havoc and Catherine dating together. *give Havoc  
chocolate ice-cream to comfort him* But I will not renounce : I will create a  
charity association and call it "A girlfriend for our favorite smoker" and the  
world will be better !  
What do you think about it, everyone?

Roy: I never said Lieutenant Havoc was my favorite smoker.

Dani: He's the only smoker on the show. Not much variety there.

Breda and Falman: I bet 8000 yen it doesn't work.

Fuery: You're on!

Havoc: WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS USE MY PERSONAL LIFE FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH GAIN?!?!?

Breda, Fuery, and Falman: *shrug*

Dani: Well _I_ think it's a great idea!

Everyone else: Really?

Dani: Of course! Havoc really deserves a girlfriend that_ Roy_ won't steal. Shoot him if he tries, Riza.

Riza: Okay.

Roy: *wimpers*

Dani and Riza: Awh, you'll get over it!

Dani: Our next question is for Kimblee!

*run and hide behind Roy*  
Do you love women ? Because I've seen stories about you and Greed, you and  
Archer, you and Scar, you and Dorochet, you and Havoc, you and Roy... Humm  
maybe it would be better not to speak about the Kimblee/Roy's stories when I'm  
behind Roy... Forget it Roy.  
So Kimblee : are you gay ?

Roy: What?!? Me and _Kimblee_? Your right, not the best thing to speak of while hiding behind me!

Dani: Shhh! Let Kimblee answer!

Kimblee: Errr…

Dani: O.o You _are_ gay?!?

Kimblee: I didn't say that!

Dani: You thought it awful loud!

Kimblee: Yes, okay?!? I'm gay! But I only ever had relations with Archer!!! I can be with the rest only in my dreams…

Roy: Ah! What?!? *hides behind laitue* _You_ protect _me_ now!

Dani: O.o Next questions! They come from FireNutZuko, and the first is for Envy.

Aw! You're now my unofficial elder brother! -gives him all my  
homework- =D Have fun with my Chemistry homework while Al and I watch TV or  
something! =D

Envy: Chemistry? Really? Hey, Ed! Wanna help?

Ed: No way! *jumps on couch to watch TV with Al and FireNutZuko*

Envy: *sigh* Oh, well. Who needs that shrimp anyways. *starts on homework*

Edward: *from next room* WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE CAN FIT BETWEEN THE PAGES OF A CHEMISTRY BOOK?!?!?!

Envy: You!!!

Dani: You always set yourself up for that. The next question is for Alphonse.

Are you gonna miss having Envy be nice to you?

Alphonse: Eh, maybe a little. It will suck to have him out to kill me again, that's for sure.

Dani: Aw! I'll protect you!

Al: Thanks Dani! :D

Dani: ^^ The next one is for Gluttony!

You NEED to lose weight! You're either going on a diet or having  
liposuction, got it!? So, you can no longer have humans, lipids, sugars,  
carbs, or anything like that

Gluttony: What's a diet? Can I eat it?

Dani: …No.

Gluttony: Then I don't want one.

Dani: Of course you don't. The next question is for Lust.

Yeah... can you make sure Gluttony goes through with his diet or gets  
the liposuction done... and stays on a diet?

Lust: I can try. No promises, though. After all, I don't want to be eaten.

Dani: Hmm…I vote we feed Ed to Gluttony!

Ed: WHAT?!?

Dani: What? The next question-

Edward: -DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!!

Dani: -is for Edward!

I hope you know I'll now have dreams about chopping you into pieces. o_O  
Also, the real boy thing is from Pinocciho (however the heck it's spelled!).  
Learn your Disney movies. I dare you to watch Disney movies non-stop for...  
48 hours... with Hohenheim. If you complain, you will be fed to something.

Edward: Why would I do that? With that bastard?!? And what the hell are you planning on feeding me?!?

Dani: Just do it! After you and Hohenheim are given all your questions for this chapter, the movie fest will start!

Edward: Noooo!

Dani: The next question is for Ling.

Yes, there would be free food at Ed's funeral 'cause free food is  
AWESOME! What IS your favorite type of food anyways?

Ling: Then I'll be there! As for 'favorite type of food' I'uno, I'd have to say the edible kind.

Dani: I like that kind too! School lunches don't qualify, though.

Ling: Even I wouldn't eat that with Ed's money.

Ed: YOU WON'T EAT ANYTHING WITH ED'S MONEY!

Ling: Too late! *hands bill from restaurant* You'll need to pay that soon…*hides behind Dani*

Edward: HOW DO YOU SPEND THAT MUCH ON FOOD?!?!

Dani: Easy! Now for our next question! It's for Havoc.

Since that was a CANDY cigarette... I'm not gonna tear your limbs  
off, isn't that great? =D Also, your fortune cookie would pry say, "If you're  
less rude and if you stop smoking, you'll have more friends AND girls won't  
leave you for a different guy -coughroycoughmustangcough-".

Havoc: Good? And I think my fortune cookie would say, "You're a sexy beast. Go smoke a pack." Do you agree?

Dani: I don't think fortune cookies say things like that.

Havoc: Mine would!

Dani:…Moving on! Our next question is for Dante.

Seriously, just get over your hatred of HOHENHEIM. If you get over  
your hatred of HOHENHEIM, you'll be a much happier person and MAYBE the  
homunculi and other humans will want to be around you. I suggest going to  
therapy to visit a therapist.

Dani: Yeah, visit The Rapist!

Dante: *evil glare* I hate that man so much, I like hating him!

Dani: How can you 'like' hating someone?

Dante: I like hating you, too.

Dani: You take that back!

Dante:…No.

Dani: Well then I just won't let you talk for the rest of the chapter, with my super-mega-authoress-powers! So hah! The next questions come from CrazyMellow102! The first is for everyone!

I'm giving out hugs! I'm really happy today! *hugs everyone... somehow...*

Dani: Glad your happy today! *hugs back*

Envy: *Hides behind a tree* NO HUGS!

Dani: Oh, Envy! Didn't see you there, you blend in with that tree so well!

Envy: IMA KILL YOU!!!

Dani: *hides behind Roy* Nuh!

Roy: *puts on gloves* I'll burn your ass!

Dani: *pats Roy's head* Good boy!

Roy: *smiles*

Dani: The next question is for Envy!

Oh and I wanna give Envy something... *Looks for something and comes out  
with a big purple teddy bear and hands it to Envy* =D *Hides behind Ed*

Envy: *cautiously takes present* Thanks… *retreats to trees*

Dani: Our next questions come from randomperson! The first is for Edward!

Why do hate your height with your boots and hair your 5'4"

Edward: I never thought of it that way! *stands on tippytoes* I'm catching up, Colonel!

Roy: *towering over Ed* Err…yeah….I better watch myself…*chuckles*

Edward: SHUT UP!

Dani: *laughs* Next question! It's for Alphonse!

Find Fuery and open an animal shelter and Envy could help you

Al: Good idea! *grabs Fuery and Envy* C'mon!

Fuery: Yeah!

Envy: *facepalm*

Dani: *chuckles* Have fun, y'all! The next question is for all homunculi!

Among you who is the leader?

Homunculi: Probably Envy or Lust.

Dani: *nodnod* Next question! It's for Anime!Wrath.

You're awesome. Have some sugar cane!

Dani: *Opens closet* And eat it in there!

Wrath: *takes sugar cane in closet*

Dani: *shuts closet and locks door* Next question! It's for me!

This is fun have some sugar cane

Dani: Really? Sugar cane? For me? I'm touched! *takes sugar cane and eats happily* *while still chewing* Our next questions come from AnimeCookie93! The first is for the sexiest person here!

Roy: Me?

Dani: No! Me!

I have a Facebook, Myspace, AND Yahoo! haha... u can PM me the  
usernames!

Dani: Okay, I'll do that! Our next question is for Hohenheim.

That was a good attempt! *gives book of fatherly skills* read  
this and try some on JUST Edward, see how far you get... you should try to win  
his LOVE first... *looks at Al* cuz HE'S the good one! *toothy grin and gives  
Al a cookie*

Hohenheim: I'll read that, it could come in handy while working with my two eldest sons. Al is a good kid though. :]

Alphonse: Yay, I'm the good one! *takes cookie and eats*

Dani: I hope my kids are like Al! Anyways, the next question is for Edward and Envy!

U should show ur father more respect... I mean, he's all u  
have (sorry to bring it up... :( ) and u can't afford to do be a jerk to ur  
father... so LISTEN DAMN IT!

Edward: He left us! He didn't even come to Mom's funeral! How can I respect him!

Envy: Yeah, and he abandoned me!

Dani: He's still your dad.

Edward and Envy: Not anymore! He's fired!

Dani: You can't fire your dad! Anyways, this argument could go on forever so next question! It's for all the homunculi!

Can homunculi reproduce?

All homunculi: No.

Dani: That sucks for you! The next question is for Alphonse!

Why are you so damned cutee! And, you have a lot of kitties  
already, but I decided to stop by a Pet Store for ya and I got you AND Edward  
a kitten... *hands Al a black kitten and Ed a golden tabby* sorry I couldn't  
get the pet food, but I think you can handle that!

Alphonse: Yay! Thank you soooo much! *cute smile*

Edward: *groaning voice* Nooo! More cats! *dies*

Al: We can handle the cat food! Thanks again!

Dani: ^^ The next questions come from Meso the Hanyu! The first is for Envy!

You are a sadistic bastard palm tree and only my friend who I believe  
was born without a brain likes you! That is why you're my favorite homunculus  
that I like 'cause they are cool ^^

Envy: Err…thanks…I think?

Dani: Lol, _was_ that a compliment? Anyways, the next question is for Greed!

You're hot. May I hug you? I must ask though, do you love, like make  
out with love, Dorochette or Martel? Cause I see a lot of stories and  
pictures...

Greed: Hug away. Also, I love, like 'make out love' nobody, you can't believe all you read in FanFiction!

Dani: What a strange thing to say in a FanFiction.

Greed: That's ironic.

Dani: Sure is. Anyways, the next question is for Dorochette!

You haven't been here at all, I feel bad for you *hugs Doro* I  
want to ask, do you love Greed or Martel? If you say no about Martel... THEN  
EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

Dorochette: I know, it's terrible! I was only mentioned once, earlier in this chapter! Anyways, everything you know is not a lie, don't worry! I do love Martel, that's why I wanted to protect her from King Bradley and the military!

Dani: I love that pairing! ^^ The next question is for Martel.

You are awesome. Do you love Greed or Dorochette? Pretty much same  
thing as with Doro's question with the lie... And I've seen a lot of stories  
of you and Greed..

Martel: Don't worry, once again! I do love Dorochette! As Greed said, you can't believe all the FanFiction you read!

Dani: Again, ironic. The next question is for Ling.

You are my second favorite character and favorite male character!  
*hugs* I just wanted to ask you... I looked up you're name and when I found  
it, it said it meant dawn or sound, and was a girl name!

Ling: Yes, much love! And WHAT?!? MY NAME IS A GIRL NAME?!?! AH!

Dani: It's okay! My middle name is a guys name!

Ling: No! It's not the same!

Dani: Will free food help?

Ling: And suddenly it's all better.

Dani: *Gives Ling free food* Here ya go!

Ling: *eats happily*

Dani: Our last question is for my favorite female character on the whole show, Ran Fan!!!

You are my favorite character! I'd hug you but then you might hurt  
me, and I need all my limbs... But I want to ask, do you like Ling? I mean  
love like? He doesn't have to hear you're answer.

Dani: Ling, go eat your free food in the next room, which just so happens to be soundproof!

Ling: Um…okay? *leaves*

Dani: It's safe for you to answer now, Ran Fan!

Ran Fan: I probably won't kill you if you hug me. And as for your second question… I do love the young master. That is why I must do everything in my power to help him accomplish his goal and protect him.

Dani: Sound familiar? Riza and Ran Fan are so much alike! Am I the only one who's noticed? Roy and Ling are alike too! RoyAi and Ran Fan x Ling are similar pairings, don't you think? They protect each other and help each other accomplish their goals…am I the only one who's noticed? I still love both pairings, they're my two favorites, but tell me you haven't noticed that! Anyways, enough of my babling! That's it for this chapter! Remember to review!!!


	15. Chapter 15

Dani: Yay, a new chapter! I know, I know, it's a day late. But I went to the fair with a friend! It was epic! xD Once again, I get on here and babble on about my personal life. You guys don't want to hear it! Sorry! Anyways, our first question comes from Noah the Devil Huntress! It is for Ed, Al, Envy, Gluttony, and Roy!

I wonder what would happen if Ed, Al, Envy, Gluttony and Roy randomly got zapped into the Silent Hill world and got chased by ugly nurses with scalpels, wierd things that spit acid at you, and...Of course, Pyramid Head. O.O *Shudders* I hate all those baddies by the  
way.

Roy: Got sucked into wah?

Dani: I've never heard of Silent Hill either…I'm sorry! I can't really fully appreciate this question. Sorry!

Ling: Geez, Dani, think you've apologized enough?

Dani: No! But we do have to move on so…I really am sorry! The next questions come from CrazyMellow102! The first is for Greed.

Are you really that greedy?

Greed: Yes! I want it all! Everything!

Dani: 'Money, power, women' we've heard the speech.

Greed: T.T You interrupted my greedy speech.

Dani: Yeah, yeah. Anyways, the next question is for everyone!

Have cake! *takes a very big cake out* =D

Ling: O.o FREE FOOD! *glomps CrazyMellow102*

Dani: You never glomped _me_ when _I_ gave you food! *sulks*

Ling: But it's _cake!_

Dani: Nyuh! *Takes a slice of cake and runs to corner to eat it*

Roy:…I want cake!

Riza: Me too!

All: *get cakes and eat*

Alphonse: Thanks CrazyMellow102 for the awesome cake!

Dani: *still sulking* Our next questions come from randomperson. The first one is for Alphonse.

How's the shelter going?

Alphonse: It's going great! We just gave away our 1,000 kitten today!

Dani: After one day?!?

Al: Well, I might have adopted a _few_ kittens…

Dani: How many?

Al: 999. But they were all so cute!

Dani: O.o You're gonna need a hell of a lot more cat food!

Al: Yeah…

Dani: The next question is for Edward.

What would you do for this book? *holds up book* its contains a circle that makes things shorter.

Edward: O.o GIVE IT HERE NOWW!!!

Dani: Ah! *puts Ed on a leash* Stay, boy!

Edward: *bites at leash*

Dani: Answer their question!

Edward: I WOULD DO ANYTHING!!!!!

Dani: Heh.

Ed: Eh? Why the evil laugh?

Dani: *ignoring him* The next question is for Anime!Wrath.

Why do you let Dani put you in the closet? You're Wrath and a homunculus! Nothing  
should stop you! And here's a bag of pixie sticks.

Wrath: Well, I let her put me in there because she is the authoress and has complete control over the story.

Dani: And don't you ever forget it!

Wrath: *Takes pixie sticks and heads toward closet* Thanks for the candy!

Dani: The next question is for Ed, Al, and Envy!

How about a family photo Hohenheim, Ed, Al, and Envy. If you all don't smile  
and look happy I will make ALL of your lives as miserable as humanly possible  
and especially you Envy!

Envy and Ed: WHAT?!?!

Al and Hohenheim: Okay!

*Al, Hohenheim, Envy, and Ed all stand next to each other, Ed and Envy looking pissed off.*

Edward: Just get it over with!

Dani: Smile big and pretty!

Ed, Envy, Al, and Hohenheim: *smile*

*Camera flashes*

Dani: *Looks at camera screen* Awh! This is going on my fridge!

Ed: I can't believe you made me take a picture with that bastard.

Dani: *shrugs* Don't blame me. I don't ask the questions, I just make sure they are answered.

Edward: *Glares*

Dani: *shrugs* Next questions! They come from laitue! The first is for me!

Congratulations! Are you happy to be an aunt again?

Dani: *grins and nods* He's so beautiful! He's got spikey brown hair! It's so cute!

Roy: Oh, Geez. You're as bad as Maes.

Hughes: Hm? What was that Roy? As bad as me how?

Roy: *sweatdrop* Er…nothing.

Hughes: Wanna see some pictures?

Roy: Not now, Maes!

Dani: Do you wanna see some of my nephew?

Roy: We need to move on!

Dani: *sigh* That's right. I'll have to show you some other time. Oh, well. The next question is for everyone at The Devil's Nest!

Hey guys! You are so cool! I love you!

Everyone at Devil's Nest: Thanks!

Dani: The next question is for Greed.

Who are theses girls who used to stay with you on this couch? They  
look so stupid! Is there only one thing in the world you will never want?  
And...hum...Do you want me too? *chibi eyes*

Greed: Those girls were just some chimeras that hung out at the bar. I don't even remember their names. As for your second question, no. I want everything! I guess that includes you, too. *Smirks*

Dani: Hey! No seducing reviewers! Bad Greed! *sprays with water*

Greed: Ah! Stop it!

Dani: Next question! *glares at Greed* It's for Dorochet

You are half part dog so what do you think about cats? Do you  
like play ball? Can I rub your belly? *blush* Did I go too far?

Dorochet: I don't much like cats. They're annoying!

Al: *gasp*

Dorochet: *ignoring him* I do like to play ball though! And no, you can't rub my belly. I would rather be scratched behind the ears! You don't go too far!

Dani:….Unexpected. Oh, well. Next question! It's for Martel!

You are awesome, do you know it? Could you teach me how to fight?  
It isn't too difficult to live with Greed and the others chimeras? They seem  
to be quite childish and depraved sometimes. In fact you are quite like  
Riza with Roy, aren't you?

Martel: I know. And I suppose I could try…and it is hard. They _are_ childish, it _is_ similar to the way things are with Miss Hawkeye in the military.

Dani: Really? So is Greed like the homunculi equivalent to Roy, then?

Martel: I wouldn't go _that_ far…

Dani: *shrugs* Okay, next question. It's for Law!

You always seem to be so calm, do you lose your temper sometimes?

Law: Well, of course I do sometimes. Just not very often.

Dani: Like the exact opposite of me!

Law: Er…sure…

Dani: ^^ Next question! It's for Bido!

Does your tail grow again if somebody cuts it? Could we try?

Bido: I'd rather you not…

Dani: But it would be fun!

Bido: ….

Dani: Bleh. Our next questions come from first is for Edward!

Alright, he left, I'll give you that... but he came back and you  
PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE! Alright, maybe I should send you to some sort of  
anger management... maybe... or maybe you and Al should walk and talk about  
what you can do to APOLOGIZE!!

Edward: I PUNCHED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS _FLIRTING_! AFTER 10 YEARS OF BEING AWAY HE COMES BACK AND STARTS _FLIRTING_! I DON'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!

Dani: Why are you screaming? You're angry!

Ed: I AM NOT!

Dani: Then stop yelling!

Ed: ….

Dani: Good. Now, our next question is for Winry.

No one's been asking you anything!? How rude... haha. alrighty...  
how's the Automail Shop goin'? Is Ed being good to his automail?

Winry: I know! I'm so unloved! And the automail shop is doing great, but is Ed _ever _good to his automail?

Edward: Hey!

Winry: It's true!

Dani: It is.

Ed: Stay out of this!

Dani: No! :P Next question is for Roy!

Alrighty... you are a fail... that's all I gotta say... :P haha. OH and  
I'm now an alchemist... just putting pressure on an object and I can  
disintigrate it... so watch it!

Roy: What? No! You're scary! *hides behind Dani* Save me!

Dani: O.o Let's go to the next question! It's for Pinako!

Have you ever thought that Ed and Winry would be together?? ... And  
how would you feel if Ed got Win pregnant?? (:P)

Pinako: I always knew those two had eyes for only each other. I think Ed is a good kid and doubt he would do something like that but if he did I would be fine with knowing that he was the father of my first great-grandchild.

Dani: The next question comes from 94Yuki. It's for Ed.

You're my favorite character *hugs Ed* Will you be new BF? By the way I  
happen to know a lot of people shorter than you (including me) who are 15. I'm  
really happy right now so everybody gets a cookie!

Winry: HE MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!

Ed: Calm down, Win. Winry is right, I can't be your boyfriend. But thanks for that thing about people shorter than me, that always cheers me up. And thanks for the cookie, too.

Everyone else: *takes cookies and eats them* Thanks!

Dani: *still chewing* Our next questions come from Meso the Hanyu! The first is for Envy.

I don't even know if that was a compliment, and I typed it! Anyway, I must  
ask you... Why does you're true form in the manga make you look like a spider  
crossed with a human?

Envy: I'll take it as a compliment, so I don't have to kill you. And my true form does not make me look like that! :/

Dani: Don't eat them! Next question! It's for Greed!

*Hugs* Yay! Now I want to ask you! Are you and GreedLing the same  
Greed, or different? It's giving me a headache trying to figure it out...

Greed: Hm. I think we are the same Greed, only GreedLing still has Ling inside, which makes him very different.

Dani: Ah. Next question! It's for Edward!

Just wanted to say... Down with milk! Up with... other beverages!

Edward: Yeah! *highfives*

Dani: What's wrong with milk?

Edward: IT'S GROSS!

Dani: …Whatever. Next question. It's for Ling!

I have something else to say about you're name. If you put you're  
name together with prince, making it princeling, the word princeling means a  
prince of minor status or wealth... I feel bad for you, since you're name  
means so many weird things.

Ling: Noooo! *sulks in corner*

Dani: *sigh* FREE FOOD!

Ling: FOOD?!?!? *takes food and eats*

Dani: *Facepalm* Next question is for Dorochet.

How do you spell you're name? I've seen it spelled Dorchette, Dorochette, Dorochet, wich way is it?

Dorochet: I guess it doesn't really matter, though I believe the official spelling is Dorochet.

Dani: Ah. The next questions come from FireNutZuko! The first one is for Envy.

Now you can do my Creative Writing assignments. =D -hands Envy a pile of papers that's taller than Ed the shorty- Have fun! Al and I are gonna go play video games! WOO! =D

Envy: Wha? I fail at creative writing! Make Dani do it!

Dani: Why me?

Envy: You're the authoress.

Dani: So? :P She told you to do it! So get to work, Palmtree!

Envy: Hey!

Dani: Next question! It is for Edward and Hohenheim.

How're the Disney movies? How's spending time with each other?

Edward: I hate you so much. Why do I care if a lion's dad dies?

Hohenheim: *smiles* It's great, thanks.

Dani: Get back to work! You aren't done yet!

Ed: I am going to_ kill_ you.

Dani: Nope! I'm the authoress, you can't kill me!

Ed: Wanna bet?

Dani: *sweatdrop* NEXT QUESTION! It's for me!

School lunches are the worst! Isn't it amazing how some people can  
digest that stuff?

Dani: It sure is! Man, this is why I bring food from home! It always smells, too! Can't they give us edible stuff, just once?

Everyone else: *Has no idea what a 'school lunch' is, but are now afraid of them*

Dani: You should be afraid! Next question. It's for Havoc!

... You have issues... here's a pamphlet for an awesome rehab. –hands him the pamphlet You better at least read it. -.- Also, make Dante read the pamphlet too. =D

Havoc: I don't need rehab!

Dante: Me either!

Dani: Reading it won't kill you.

Havoc: I don't know how to read!

Dani: Liar! You have to be able to read to know how much your cigarettes cost!

Havoc: Dammit! Fine, I'll read it. *Goes to corner to read*

Dani: You too, Dante! After you answer this question.

GO TO THAT REHAB FOR A WEEK! Also, I don't get how someone can like  
hating someone, how can you do that? o_O

Dante: Easily. I hate Hohenheim, and therefore I know I exsist.

Dani: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Go read with Havoc!

Dante: *Goes to read*

Dani: Good. Our next questions come from LoveStories. The first is for Dante.

HOENHEIM! (I said that just to annoy you. =3)

Dante: *from corner* NEVER SAY THE NAME OF THAT VILE MAN AGAIN!

Hohenheim: *sigh*

Dani: Aw, poor Hohenheim. The next question is for Ed.

When people tell you're small or short say you're 'fun sized' XD

Edward: What's that supposed to mean?!?

Dani: That you're not short?

Ed: :D I'll say it! I'm not short, I'm funsized!

Dani: xD The next question comes from Invisible.

If it makes you feel better my great-grandma was eternally 4'11" and my  
mom's really short too!

Edward: That does make me feel a bit better…are _you_ short?

Dani: *shrugs* That's all for this chapter, don't forget to review! See ya next time!


	16. Chapter 16

Dani: Welcome to the newest and extremely late chapter of Ask the Alchemists. Since I am so terribly far behind, my friend Meso the Hanyu is helping me with the questions today. So welcome her to the cast.

Everyone: ….

Dani: CLAP!

Everyone: *sweatdrops and claps*

Meso: You didn't want to clap for me? That hurts *sniffle*

Dani: You all are terrible. Hurting people's feelings. Hmph. Our first question is for everyone, from Meso the Hanyu.

Whoever tells me which of you I caught a cold from first gets this *holds up piece of paper* It's a get out of answering one of my questions free  
pass.

*Everyone points to a random person*

Dani: Those don't even count. I bet Edward did it!

Ed: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME?!?

Dani: ….because you did it?

Edward: -.-

Dani: *Under breath* Well you probably did. Anyways, the next question is for Envy.

Yes you do! And I was staring at a picture and in you're true form you have eyeballs under you're tongue!

Envy: Shaddup!

Dani: Envy eats eyeballs!

Envy: DO NOT!

Dani: So explain why they're under your tongue?

Envy: …I don't get to choose where they go!

Dani: You shouldn't have eated them.

Envy: ….

Dani: Next question! It's for Ling! 3

I'm sorry about making you feel bad about you're name *hugs Ling* Does a bucket of ice cream help? *hands Ling three gallon bucket of ice cream*

Ling: Free food? :D I LOVE YOU!

Dani: ….can I help you eat that?

Ling: *Snarls*

Dani: Fine, be stingy. See if I care. I'll buy my own ice cream.

Ling: …..fine. I'll share. You can have one spoonful.

Dani: :D *eats ice cream*

Everyone else: *facepalm*

Dani: Next question! It's for Edward.

*high fives back* I found somethign good for you to drink that doesn't have milk and makes you grow! Do you want to know what it is?

Edward: YES YES YES!

Dani: *listens suspisosly*

Meso: It's soy milk! Made from, well, soy!

Dani: Brilliant! Soy milk. Like…silk? Anyways, next question. It be for Dorochet.

I can't resist *throws Frisbee* Go get it! I need to know if you act the same as my dog when I throw a Frisbee.

Dorochet: *watches Frisbee* …..no way….to much effort.

Dani: Since when are you lazy?

Dorochet: Since you're writing my lines.

Dani: Good point. Next question! It's for everybody!

Any of you know somebody really clingy? I need to know because my dumb dog won't leave me alone! She's 60 pounds and she's sitting in my lap like a lap dog. I feel squished.

Everyone: *looks at Dani*

Dani: …What?

Everyone: *looks away* Oh, nothing…

Dani: Clingy? Me? No! I just like hugs….alot….that doesn't make me clingy.

Roy: That's the definition of clingy.

Dani: Roy, you too? My day is ruined. *angsts in corner*

Roy: Sorry?

Dani: No. The damage is done.

Roy: *sigh*

Dani: The next questions are from randomperson. But I'm still angsting. Roy, you do it. It's your fault I'm angsting anyways.

Roy: …fine. Give them here.

Dani: *hands them to Roy*

Roy: *sigh* The first one is for Edward.

Watch this *feeds book to gluttony*

Edward: Nooooo!

Dani: Okay, just this once Ed. Wanna angst with me?

Edward: *nods sadly* Just this once.

Edward and Dani: *Angst in the corner*

Roy: *rolls eyes* Next question. It's for Hohenheim.

Why don't you use alchemy to control Ed?

Hohenheim: Isn't that human transmutation?

Everyone else: *shrugs*

Roy: Next question! For Al!

I want to adopt a kitten.

Alphonse: Okay! Here, come look at our selection! We have calico kittens, solid color kittens, and everything in between! Just choose one!

Roy: I don't think Dani appreciates you dragging off reviewers to ramble on to them about kittens, Alphonse.

Al: Sorry, Colonel! *pats randomperson on the head*

Roy: Better. The next question is for you Dani. Come on…out of the corner…

Dani: No!

Roy: I guess I'll just have to give these cookies to Ling then…

Dani: Cookies? Give it! *Runs over to Roy and takes cookies* Hm. This almost makes me want to start angsting. Only one more thing to make all the angst go away…*smiles evily at Roy*

Roy: Oh, God. Fine. *hugs Dani*

Dani: MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!

Meso: It wasn't complete before?

Dani: It's just…more complete now. :D The next questions come from AnimeCookie93. The first is for Edward.

*gives a glass of a white liquid* here, try this, it's my new milk substitute!

Edward: *Drinks* This is okay…

Dani: (wait to add this next part until Ed drinks and gives his answer!!) HAHAHA IT WAS MILK!

Edward: WHAT?!? *spits all over everyone* GROSS!

Meso: Ew! Now I'm covered in it!

Dani: You said you liked it! I knew it, a secret milk fan!

Edward: No! Ew, I'm scared for life!

Dani: Whatever. Next is for Edward, again.

Why do you like your hair longer? Have you seen the pics on "Google" about you flexing in the shower and your hair is down? *shivers* Hehehe

Edward: I'uno, it just suits me. And what's 'Google?'

Dani: You poor, deprived child. Google is….well…how do you explain it…the source of all information you could ever want to know.

Edward: _Everything?_

Dani: Everything. I'll let your mind process that as we move on. The next question is for Winry.

Glad to know the shop is doing well!

Winry: :D Thank you!

Dani: 'Nuff said. Next question is for Dante. *hides behind Roy* I'll ask from back here.

HOHENHEIM! HOHENHEIM! lol.

Dante: IMA KILL YOU!

Dani: No killing reviewers!

Dante: Then I'll just kill you.

Dani: ROY SAVE ME!

Roy: *sigh* Go away.

Dante: …or what?

Roy: …I'll burn you?

Dante: You win. *runs away*

Dani: Yay! Next question is for Havoc.

How long has it been since you had your last cigarette? I think you should cut down, and eventually quit, because for you to die before the new series is aired in English would make me cry...

Havoc: *pulls cigarette out of mouth and hides it behind back* Uh…a while? I won't die! It's not in my script!

Dani: ….not very sneaky…

Havoc: I don't know what you're talking about!

Dani: *rolls eyes* Next question. It's for Winry.

What's your favorite band/song? Do you think Edo can sing?

Winry: I don't typically listen to music. But I'm sure Ed fails at singing.

Edward: HEY!

Winry: Well?

Ed: I do.

Winry: Knew it.

Dani: Yay! Ed sucks! Anyways, the next question is for me.

It's great to finally be friends, eh? it's cool that you live in, what, Arizona? How is it there? Are winters harsh? Cause in Leb, it SUCKS! :( lol

Dani: Hah, close. I live in Alabama. The winters here are defiantly not harsh, they sometimes go down to like 40 degrees! Whew, surprised we don't all freeze. Lol. And, well, AnimeCookie93 would also like to give everyone cookies.

Everyone: *eats cookies*

Meso: It's 27 degrees here right now, and it's only October! Lucky person! *nibbles cookie*

Dani: But I get no snow. :(

Dani: The next questions come from FireNutZuko. The first one is for Edward.

If Al was watching them with you, you would care. But Al doesn't have to since he gets along with Hohenheim just fine!

Edward: That's different; Al isn't a bastard.

Alphonse: Thanks!

Dani: *elbows Hohenheim*

Hohenheim: Right! Edward, watch your language.

Edward: …..NO! YOU _ARE_ A BASTARD!

Dani: Er…next question! It's for Hohenheim.

Has Ed tried to murder you... again... yet?

Hohenheim: Only a few times.

Dani: How many?

Hohenheim: 6.

Dani: O.o That's more than a few!

Hohenheim: *shrugs*

Dani: *facepalm* Next question! It be for Al!

Here's a HUGE cookie since your family is really disfunctnal! -hands  
him a chocolate chip cookie that's bigger than 5 Ed's combined-

Edward: WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE CAN BE CRUSHED BY A COOKIE?!?!?

Everyone: FOR THE LAST TIME, _YOU!_

Al: *Eats cookie happily and obliviously*

Dani: Next question is for Envy.

We made that deal, and if you go back on it, I'm gonna go back to calling you everything you hate. BUT for all your hard work, so far... –hands him a chocolate chip cookie that's the size of my little toe-

Envy: I won't! *looks at cookie* How big is your little toe?

Dani: Small?

Envy: Oh. *angst*

Meso: Angst Envy? Zomgness!

Dani: Moving on! The next question is for me!

I can't bring lunches from home because apparently it's "cheaper to eat at school" -.- I seriously think the schools WANT to kill us... or at least get us majorly sick. I know this person that gets sick whenever he eats a school lunch. That's just proof they're trying to kill us.

Dani: Of course they are! The more they kill, the less they have to teach! It's a conspiracy, I'm telling you!

Roy: Dani, you think _everything_ is a conspiracy.

Dani: Most things are!

Meso: I agree

Roy: *facepalm*

Dani: Anyways, I could go on and on about conspiracies, but we need to move on. So this one is for Havoc.

When you get cancer, I'm just gonna point and laugh because you weren't smart enough to get off the cigarettes.

Havoc: That's not nice! That's not nice at all!

Dani: You deserve it, dude.

Havoc: Really? I'm that bad?

Dani: *nods* The next question is for Dante.

You NEED to go to therapy or counseling or rehab for your hatred of HOHENHEIM! If you don't do any of those, I'm gonna be your self-appointed counselor person.. and Envy will help me. =D

Dante: No way!

Envy: Do I _have_ to?

Dani: It is in your contract to do whatever the reviewer wants. Didn't you read that?

Envy: The thing was 1,217 pages long!

Dani: I HAD TO INCLUDE EVERYTHING! YOU CAN'T SUE ME!

Envy:…..

Dani: Our next questions come from LOTR_junkie. The first is for Envy.

Hey Envy. People like hugging you for a very certain reason... You may be a manipulative bastard, but you're a hot manipulative bastard. So even though you take a lot of flack, regarding your outfit, hormonal fangirls actually like it, because it shows your abs. (Sorry, I'm not one of them. Or maybe it should be "don't worry"... I'm not male, not gay, just so you know) It sucked when you died in the manga. (You did die, right? You were yelling at Ed that you didn't want his pity? Pardon me if something happened, I haven't finished the manga yet.)

Envy: So you make fun of my outfit, because you like it? Girls have problems. And yes, I died, or if you want to be technical, I committed suicide.

Dani: It made my day.

Envy: WHAT?!?!

Dani: You killed Hughes, you bastard!

Envy: You're next!

Dani: *Hides behind Roy* Let's go to the next question! It's for Winry.

Winry, you rock. What happened to your lock picking tools? Those were cool. Just so you know, BF can also sometimes mean "best friend". However, I don't personally know the person who said that, so maybe they were hitting on Ed, maybe not. Ed IS hot, so it's hard to blame them, but I like your pairing to much to try hitting on him. Also, it can be hard to hit on a fictional character, as cool as he is. Also wondering, does your hair ever tangle in automail? Because your hair is pretty long, and it would suck if you cut it.

Winry: They should be with my tools…. Yes, I know that, but I yelled at them just in case. And, no it doesn't, surprisingly.

Edward: Why yell at me?

Winry: Because we were forbidden to yell at reviewers!

Dani: No more fighting, I have a headache! As much as I love seeing Edward get hit on the head, he makes a lot of noise about it!

Hawkeye, love your sniper skills. I also love your pairing with Roy Mustang. (He's hot too, but once again, you two together are too cool.)

Riza: Thank you.

Roy: Heh. I'm hot.

Everyone else: *facepalm*

Dani: Before Roy's head gets any bigger, the next question is for Edward!

Hey, Ed, I'm probably shorter than you. Honestly, it's not a big deal.  
Most don't give a damn if you're short. It's just that it's really funny when  
you get mad... so, want some azuki? Now chill out, and anyways, you're taller  
now.

Ed: Yes, a lot of people do! And it's funny when I get mad? What kind of sick person are you? Are you trying to compare me to a bean? Who are you calling a bean!?!

Everyone else: No one said that.

Edward: You all implied it!

Dani: *sigh* The next question is for anyone who wants to answer.

I haven't finished the manga, so I'd like to know... Did Roy manage to  
take over Amestris? Thanks.

Roy: Not yet, but the manga hasn't ended yet.

Dani: Yeah, Roy's still dreaming.

Roy: I will make it to the top and force all women to wear mini skirts!

Riza: *Points gun at Roy*

Roy: ….Please?

Dani: Our next question comes from 94Yuki.

Sorry for the misunderstanding but I meant best friend. I have absolutely no intentions of breaking you and Winry up. Besides I think Al would make a better boy friend, he's cute & sweet!*hugs Al* Here you can have this cute kitty!*hands Al a fluffy white kitty*

Winry: Oh, I'm sorry. :D

Al: A kitty! 3

Edward: ANOTHER CAT?!?

Meso: Let me see the kitty!

Dani: *Laughing* Our next questions come from AnimeFallingStar. The first one is not really a question, but again it made me smile so I have to share it.

Yay! O.O Peacie's real name is Dani... which could be short for Danielle...I  
was almost named Danielle... but I wasn't... AH! I GOT SIDETRACKED AGAIN!! Now, I have- hey look, a squirrel!! I have a few questions of my own. *pulls out soapbox*

Dani: xD Yes, my name is Dani. It isn't short for Danielle, it's actually short for Danica. Like the racecar driver! Vroom, vroom!

Edward: Danica?

Dani: Say one word and get shot.

Ed: *holds hands in air*

Meso: It's better than my real name, mostly because my real name means party -_-

Dani: Anyways, the next question is for the shrimp we all know and…well…we all know him anyways.

Ed: Hey!

Dani: *ignoring him* Here it is!

There's a senior on my field hockey team who's shorter than my seven-year-old brother. He's 4'8''. She's 4'7". And she's almost 18. Don't feel bad Edo-kun!

Edward: I love these people who tell short people stories to make me feel better.

Dani: Next question is for Roy!

I DARE you -and no MAN can refuse a DARE- to go and kiss Riza. RIGHT  
NOW. Or else. ^.~

Roy: Or else what?

Dani: Me and AnimeFallingStar, and Meso if she's up to it will kick you until you do!

Meso: Course I am!

Roy: Okay…fine…*Pecks Riza on the lips and runs to hide behind a tree*

Dani: Aw! 3 Next for Riza.

Aw, now what did you think of that?? XD

Riza: It was….quite enjoyable.

Dani: Yay! Next question! It's for Alphonse.

Here, I'll give you a cookie. 'Cuz you're sweet. It's from my friend  
PleepChan, 'cuz she loves you.

Al: Cookies galore this chapter!

Dani: Lolz. The next one is for me. That's right, ME!

*pokes* Aw, I didn't mean it. *hugs*

Dani: *Hugs back* I forgive you for the poke. In fact, I don't even mind. Unless Ed pokes me. Then I'd eat him. Anyways, For Ling.

I am ordering you to tell us your TRUE FEELINGS for Ran Fan. Every last  
detail, in all its mushiness, of what you think of her. (And you can't refuse  
my order. Want to know why? Because I have my History teacher here. He lets us  
call him sensei, and he is an expert in Poi, the martial art of  
fire-twirling.)

Dani: I WISH I HAD YOUR HISTORY TEACHER! Ima start calling all my teachers sensei.

Meso: I want a history teacher like that! Mine just lets us watch movies...

Ling: Do I get out of answering?

Dani: Of course not.

Ling: Fine. I feel like I'm writing an essay. The truth about how I feel about Ran Fan (Note: Since the author loves the Ran Fan x Ling pairing, this will be biased.) is that I'm in love with her. When I see her my heart starts beating faster, and when she gets hurt I feel as if I am going to die.

Dani: Awwww!  
Meso: Double awwww!

Meso: Our next questions come from latitue, I say it like that, right? Right??? *twitch* Anyway…

Dani: Don't worry, I don't know how to pronounce it either! Anyways, the first one is kind of a statement, but it made us smile so…

I want to see pictures of Elicia and Dani's nephew. Who want to see pictures  
of my cats ?

Hughes: Here are some pictures of Elicia, isn't she cute *holds up several Elicia photos*

Dani: And here's my nephew! *Grabs a photo album and shoves it in everyone's faces*

Everyone: Holy crap, she's worse than Hughes!

Meso: I want to see pictures of youre cats! Cats are awesome!

Al: So do I! Kitties are so cute.

Dani: Me tooo!

Meso: Anyway, next question is for Dorochet.

*scratches him behind the ears* Happy ? Can I call you Doro ? It's more simple I think. Do you win your fights sometimes ? Because I always saw you being beaten. But you are cute so it doesn't matter. *hug*

Dorochet: Yes, I'm happy now. I guess you can call me Doro…

Meso: Does that mean I can call you Door chip? (inside joke)

Dani: Door chip…?

Dorochet: No! And yes, I usually win my fights…. Hey, that's just because those brats and that housewife don't fight fair!

Kay: Chill Doro, it was just, uh *counts* three fights… I think.

Dani: *counts in head* I think three is right…

Meso: Next is for Ling.

Do you know how to cook ? Do you want to learn ?

Ling: I don't know how to cook. If I learned, does that mean you'd expect me to?

Dani: You wouldn't have to steal food anymore.

Ling: Good point.

Kay: Moving , next question is for Breda, Fuery and Farman.

You don't have a lot of questions. Do you think that reviewers neglect you to focus on Roy, Riza and Havoc ?

Fuery, Breda and Farman: Yes.

Dani: That's terrible.

Kay: Okay, next question is for all the girls in FMA!

Who want to date with Havoc ? we must find him a  
girlfriend !

Random extra that is just in the background most of the time: I do, I do!

Dani: You don't count!

Random extra: *angst*

Meso: I'm scared *shudders* the next question is from Anonymos1996.

... Um... what do you guys think of people who hate you? (not me! I 3  
you!

All: We hate them!

Envy: I'd kill them, except I'm not aloud to *sigh* Stupid author…

Dani: Stupid? You're the one who wears a mini skirt but claims to be a guy!

Envy: Hey!

Meso: I agree with the palmtree, except, I'd prefer not going to jail… Next questions come from Noah the Devil Huntress. The first is for Eduardo.

All: Who?

Meso: Edward, you idiots.

I SERIOUSLY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FATHER! I TOTALLY FEEL THE  
SAME WAY ABOUT MINE! Okay, I'm going to stop screaming now. ^^' Now go beat  
your father up.

Ed: MUAHAHAHA! *goes and starts beating Hoenheim to a pulp*

Dani: …….no. Stop….*falls asleep*

Meso: Don't completely kill him, Ed! Next is for Envy the palmtree.

Dude, you should totally go beat up Hohenhiem. Help Ed like good  
brothers should.

Envy: I'll be a good older brother and help my shorter brother out *starts beating up Hoenheim with Ed*

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE COULD BE SQUISHED BY AN AMOEBA!?!

Envy: You.

Dani: *laughs in sleep*

Meso: Ah, brotherly love. Next is for Hughes.

Hey, no one has asked you anything so I'll just say something:  
Your daughter is so cute! *smiles*

Hughes: It's almost her birthday! Want to see some pictures?

Dani: Now you've done it.

Meso: Not now Hughes! Next is for Al.

I totally agree with the whole cat thing. I love them too!  
Unfortunetly my mom won't let me get one...U.U

Al: I should start a cat fan club! And you're not aloud to have a kitty? That's so sad.

Dani: Ooh! You can sneak a kitten from me! I have 12 to give away. Don't ask, two of my cats were pregnant. _Were._

Meso: I want to join the cat fan club! Next question is for Gluttony.

Dude, you don't need any diet crap. You're cute like you are.  
Just in your own way. ^^

Gluttony: Can I eat you?

Meso: No, bad homunculus! *swats with newspaper*

Dani: That's right! No eating reviewers! Why can't you get that through your head! Don't even ask, you can't eat me either.

Meso: Okay, our next questions are from Gindokei. And the first one is for Winry!

Do you ever feel tired of people assuming you have no life beyond Ed and Al? They assume you'd drop everything for them. You probably would, but why can't they understand you have your own life and work in Rush Valley? Also, I think it's very mature of you to have realized that you, too, have people waiting for you whom you couldn't have faced if you had shot Scar. I'm  
glad you didn't.

Winry: Thank you for understanding. I don't think people can get past the fact that I'm Ed and Al's childhood friend, it probably makes them think that I'd do absolutely anything for them, wich is only partially true.

Meso: Partially? Anyway, Hoenheim, you got a question.

Do you honestly want to die and be with Trisha? I think it's quite admirable how you've taken the fight to Homunculus, and I admire you greatly, but if it's partly a suicide wish... isn't that kind of cowardly? (No offense, you're one of my favourite characters.)

Hohenheim: What would you do? My entire life, I've had to see the people I love die before me. My country, my wife. I don't think I could stand to see my sons die before me, which is part of the reason I took to helping them in their fight. The other part is simply to help them.

Dani: This is a comedy, Hohenheim. You're way to serious you know?

Hohenheim: Sorry. *slips and falls on a banana pill* Better?

Meso: Thank you Hoenheim, next question is for Olivier.

You've struck up quite a friendship with Izumi Curtis, but what would you do if you found out she was the one who had stolen supplies from Briggs, all those years ago? Also, how did you react when you found out Buccaneer, one of your closest subordinates, was dead?

Olivier: She was! Buccaneer is dead!?! What else do you know that I don't!?!

Meso: Uh, let's move on before she murders someone. Next question is for… Arakawa-sensei?

As far as I've read, no one has asked you any questions, even though you are technically part of the story, aren't you? x) Why do you draw yourself as a cow? And were you upset at the death of your 'sons' Edward and Alphonse in the first anime? (Admittedly, they came back to life, but  
still...)

Arakawa-sensei: Woah, how did I get here? Who are all you people? Why are you asking me questions?

Dani: Er…*Whispers something in Arakawa-sensei's ear*

Arakawa-sensei: Oh! I dunno, I just like cows. And I am the one who wrote it, but I was upset.

Meso: Thank you, anyway, next is Scar.

Do you think you have a chance of surviving in the manga? Honestly?

Scar: Ishvala will make sure I survive to fulfill his will.

Dani: By killing everyone? This is why you're my least favorite.

Scar: I WILL DESTROY YOU!

Meso: Yeah, good luck with that. Riza, you're up.

Does it annoy you when people think you're a gun-toting maniac? Because it annoys me.

Riza: Yes.

Meso: Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say. Next is Edward.

I wonder - do you believe in God or not? Because you've stated, in  
the manga, that you're agnostic, not an atheist. Plus, you've come face to  
face with the Truth, which also calls itself God...

Ed: It depends, if you consider The Truth god, then yes, if you don't consider him god, then no.

Dani: What? Can't you answer in a nonconfusing way?!? This is why I don't like prodigies.

Meso: So you mean maybe? Whatever, next questions for Al.

Will you cut your hair when you get your body back? (Ha, ha.)

Al: Yes, from the way brother described it, my hair's gotten very long, I don't want to look like a girl!

Ed: Are you suggesting I look girly?

Dani: I am!

Edward: *ignores Dani*

Al: No, I didn't say that, Brother!

Meso: Behave you two! Anyway, next question is for Ling!

What happens if the emperor dies before you get back to Xing with your  
immortal body...?

Ling: I get a question! Well, if he dies before I get back, I have to hurry and get back and fight my siblings for the throne, but if I don't hurry, and I don't know why I wouldn't, one of my brothers would take the throne and I'd have to hire an assassin…

Dani: O.o Woah, okay. I'm afraid.

Ling: You shouldn't be! I would only kill you if you became Empoeror of Xing! Or technically, Emperoess.

Dani: *takes out piece of paper and says aloud while writing* List of what not to do: Number One: Become Emperoress of Xing.

Ling: Good.

Meso: You're violent. The next questions are from Fullmetal Muggle.

Well I have a question and a few dares but before I get to them *Hands out  
cookies to everyone*

Everyone: Thank you *nomnoms cookies*

Meso: You're all going to get fat from all those cookies… Anyway, Armstrong, you have a question.

Where do those sparkles come from?? They kinda scare me... *hide behind Ed and Roy*

Ed: Why me and Colonel Bastard?

Dani: Because you are both powerful state alchemists?

Ed: Good point…

Armstrong: They have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!

Dani: Who woulda guessed?

Meso: Wow… Anyway, the dare is for Ed and Roy.

*whispers in their ears* I dare you to steal some of Armstrong's sparkles *evil grin*

Ed and Roy: *gulp*

Ed and Roy: *sneak up behind Armstrong* *catch sparkles in butterfly net*

Sparkles: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! *float around angrily*

Ed and Roy: Crap! *go and hide behind Dani*

Dani: Crap, stay away from me! I WANT TO LIVE! *hides behind tree* *whispering* That's it for this chapter. Don't forget to review and we will answer your questions next chapter…if Armstrong doesn't kill us!


	17. Chapter 17

Dani: Hello and welcome, to Ask the Alchemists!

Edward: Is this a FanFiction or a Game Show?

Dani: …..Who cares?

Edward: Apparently, not you.

Dani: Where do you deduct that logic from, Einstien?

Edward: ….

Meso: Okay, our first questions come from FireNutZuko. The first is for Envy.

My little toe is only like... *looks*... around an inch. Your true form in FMAB reminds me of a really demented looking Pokemon! *hands him a stack of homework that's as tall as a 100 story building* And when you're done with my homework, you WILL watch 5 weeks worth of Disney AND Nickelodeon  
movies with Hohenheim, Ed, and Al. =D You also can't break the TV and you can't destroy the movies. =D You also can't kill Hohenheim or Ed. -.- I also know you won't even try to kill Al or else I'd go back to insulting you and plotting to kill you.

Envy: That sucks, why can't I have a bigger cookie? This homework reminds me of something… oh yeah, my hate of humans! *starts working on homework* Do I have to wach the movies?

Meso: I'll let you handle forcing envy to watch the movies, Dani.

Dani: Heh.

Envy: *sweatdrop* Let's watch some movies!

Meso: Okay, next question is for Ed, Ling and Envy.

What was it like fighting in Gluttony's tummy?

Ed: Horrible! There was to much stuff lying around and the sea of blood stunk!

Ling: Sticky, the blood stuck to everything!

Envy: Fun! Mostly because I got to hit the pipsqueak and the Xing brat.

Dani: See, Envy, this, plus that skirt you wear, is why you will never have a girlfriend.

Envy: IT'S SHORTS!

Meso: How… lovely. Gluttony has a question.

How do I put this nicely? YOU'RE MESSED UP! GO TO COUNSELLING! HECK! I'LL BE YOUR COUNSELOR! So, when did it all begin?

Gluttony: Can I eat you?

Meso: No! Now answer the question!

Gluttony: It started with dad making me…

Meso: Yeah, tell Firenutzuko all of you're problems, maybe you'll be normal one day. Next question is for Al.

Didn't your family ever tell you not to go anywhere with artificial humans? If not, they should really be teaching their kids not to go anywhere with artificial humans. *nodnod* Oh, and I'll also adopt a kitty from your animal shelter. =D Also, when you watch Disney and Nickelodeon movies with Hohenheim, Ed, and Envy you can leave whenever you want because you're not full of hate.

Al: No, my family never told me that. They should have! Yay, that will be our 3,000 adoption!

Meso: You adopted more cats, didn't you?

Al: Yup. And why would I want to leave? Movies are fun ^^

Edward: WHAT?!? HOW CAN WE AFFORD ALL THOSE?

Alphonse: ….We can't! But who cares, we have cats! 3

Meso: You're too happy. The next question is for Edward.

Besides the fact that cliches always happen in Disney movies, what'd you learn from the Disney movies? What's your favorite Disney movie? Favorite Disney character? Now have fun watching MORE with Hohenheim, Envy, and Al. =D No, you CANNOT break the TV and you can't destroy the movies. No, you can't kill Hohenheim or Envy.

Edward: I learned never to trust a brown lion? Don't take apples from strangers? Gah, who cares!

Meso: Er, thank you, Ed. Next question is for non-funny Hoenheim.

How was watching Disney movies with your hateful hateful child? Did he cry during any of them? Also, have fun watching 5 weeks worth of movies with Al, Ed, and Envy. =D

Hoenheim: It was… alright. And between you and me, Edward did cry… during Sleeping Buety when the evil witch died. More movies? Where do you get all these?

Dani: *laughing*

Edward: Shuddap!

Meso: o_o N-next question is for D-dante.

Tell Envy to get a notebook and a pencil ready. Also, remember, you made me do this... When did your hatred for Hohenheim begin? Was it because he cheated on you with a goat?

Envy: *grudgingly gets notebook and pencil*

Dante: DON'T SAY THAT NAME! AND YES, I CAN'T BELIVE HE CHEATED ON ME WITH AN ANIMAL!!!!!

Dani: Excuse my predictable comment, but you are a goat, Dante.

Dante: :(

Meso: Our next question is from Anonymous1996. Well, it's not so much a question as a comment…

I know I said that I don't hate you but... I just finished watching episodes  
17/18 of the anime so I reaplly hate Roy right now... I need a hug from the  
hottest alchemist AKA Edward...

Meso: Yes, feel the hate!

Dani: Aw, I still love you, Roy.

Roy: At least someone does.

Ed: Do I have to hug her?

Meso: Yes, you do! Now!

Ed: Fine *grumble* *briefly hugs Anonymous1996* Happy?

Dani: Yes, Edward, yes we are.

Edward: Why are you so mean?

Dani: *puts a hand on Edward's shoulder* It's my job.

Ed: JUST MOVE ON ALREADY!

Dani: Fine. Our next questions come from Wrath=Fangirl 202. The first is for the sexiest one here.

Roy: Well don't I feel loved.

Dani: Not _you_, you arrogant Colonel! _Me!_

Roy: And _I'm_ the arrogant one?

Dani: Shh! Everyone is dying to hear me talk!

I don't know why, it might be because of your name, but I always picture you looking like Dante. ;P

Dani: Like, Lyra/Dante or Old Lady Dante? Because I look like neither! Sadly, the character on the show I resemble the most would probably be Edward. *cringes*

Meso: I'm told, and agree with, that i look like Ranfan. I just don't act like her much... mostly because I'm constantly getting myself hurt by tripping... I'mma be quiet now.

Ed: *Evil grin* We can be twins! *Puts arm around Dani*

Dani: *pushes Ed away* No way! The next question is for Ling.

Ling: A question? For me? Read it!

Dani: ….I was planning to.

You are almost as bad as Gluttony.

Ling: Wha? Dani, how could you say that?

Dani: ….You don't get it yet, do you? I didn't say that, a reviewer did.

Ling: Oh. But see, Reviewer, I have a high motabalism, so I stay skinny. Gluttony, on the other hand…

Gluttony: Can I eat you?

Dani: No, but you may have this question.

Here is  
a turkey and a sugary caffienn cake and wrath u get carrot sticks. EAT THEM  
NOW!

Gluttony: *eats all food, leaving only carrot sticks*

Wrath: *sadly munches carrot sticks*

Dani: Next question…is for Envy.

If it makes you feel good i think you are a awful horrible  
murderous psycho and I HATE YOU! *Dani don't tell envy but he is really my  
favourite palm tree*

Envy: You know…I can still hear you…

Dani: YOU CAN NOT!

Envy: Okay then…

Meso: *thinks for several minutes* I don't get it...

Dani: Now, Wrath=Fangirl 202 would like to give everyone except Wrath cookies!

Wrath: Aw.

Dani: Eh, you'll live.

Meso: He'll live? Darn it...

Wrath: :/

Meso: Next set of questions are from Nellabelle. First is for Roy… again -_-

Do you want to become the 5th sacrafice, in a way? You know what I  
mean. You know, after chapter 100?]

Roy: You really don't like me, do you Meso? As for your question, reviewer, I don't want to be a sacrifice, but I also don't want to lose Riz- lieutenant. *hides behind Dani*

Meso: No, I don't really like you, Roy. Why are you hiding behind Dani? I'm pretty sure you're taller than her.

Dani: Hey! He is taller than me but no need to point it out!

Roy: I'm hiding here because Dani is the only one who loves me anymore!

Dani: ….You have millions of adoring fangirls, you know that, right?

Roy: They just like me for my body.

Dani: Probably true.

Meso: Next question, er, comment is for Riza.

I feel so sad! You better live god dammit!

Riza: Thank you, I'm sure nothing too horrible will happen…

Dani: Oh, yes, because FMA is the happiest, most carefree manga in the world! Nothing bad ever happens in it!

Edward: Nobody likes internet sarcasm!

Dani: Shaddup, I can do whatever I want to. I'm the author, remember?

Edward: That doesn't make it right for you to use internet sarcasm.

Dani: How 'bout I just stop writing lines for you?

Edward: ….

Dani: That's what I _thought_ you'd say! Because I wrote it! TAKE THAT!

Meso: Hey, it's another Al question.

OMG! Are you awake? Or Asleep? We can't tell! Anyways, I think one  
of my kitties is lost. Could you find her for me?

Al: I'm awake, of course!

Dani: She means in the manga.

Al: Oh!….I'uno? And your kitty is lost? I SHALL FIND HER!

Meso: As I said to Scar, good luck with that. Hey Ed, you got a question.

Did you realize that now in the later chapters you are taller than  
Winry? I hope that makes you feel better! And here, have some chocolate milk!  
Have the Berkeley farms "Over the moon" brand. You taste pure chocolate and it  
has no fat!

Ed: Yes, I did notice. Bwahahahahahahahaha! *stares at milk* No way, even if it's flavored, it's still a liquid secreted by a cow.

Meso: Don't get a swelled head, Ed. This question is for everyone.

What did you think of people thinking that chapter 100 was going to  
be the last chapter?

Dani: Obviously, they were wrong.

Edward: I thought it was horrible; you can't wrap this all up in one chapter!

Ling: Yeah! There's too much left unstated.

All: *nod*

Meso: The next set of questions is from Catlover 5. First is for Al.

Would you join the ASPCA to help save the lives of the many cute cats  
that need help?

Al: Of course! Kitties must be protected!

Meso: Power to the felines! Next, we have a question for Roy, yay -_-

Who would get more crazy fan girls, you or Dark from DNAngel?

Roy: First of all, Meso, you are as mean to me as Dani is to Ed!

All: *stares at Roy*

Roy: Okay, you're not that bad. But you're still mean. As for the question, I would, of course! I mean, I'm a sexy military man with an angsty past and a dream to rule the country, throw in the humor of dogs and mini skirts, as well as my hinted romance with the Lieutenant, and I am the best anime character of all time! Who could beat that?

Ed: A toad?

Roy: *ignoring him* Not even the _short_ tempered brat of a main character could beat me in fangirl numbers!

Edward: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL NOT EVEN THE FANGIRLS CAN SEE HIM???

Dani: The next questions come from Noah the Pumpkin Queen! The first is for Dante.

*Whispers in ear* Hohenhiem! XD

Dante: NEVER SAY THAT NAME AROUND ME!

Dani: What name?

Dante: The name that she said.

Dani: Which name was that?

Dante: Err…Edward's dad.

Dani: What's his name again?

Dante: HOHENHEIM, YOU IDIOT!

Dani: YOU SAID IT!

Meso: Good one *high fives*

Dante: …..

Dani: The next question is for Roy!

Go burn something. Like, my school or something. While no one's there. Just burn it to the ground! I DON'T WANNA GO THERE ANYMORE! e.o *Starts crying on a random OC's shoulder*  
Sayoraon(OC): WTF? WHY ME!!?? Quit crying dammit!  
(Sorry random OC ^^'')

Roy: Hmm…if I do will you do my paperwork?

Dani: No one is going to do your homework, lazy bum.

Roy: Hey! Who're you calling lazy, you're the one who takes weeks to update a story you originally said you would update daily.

Dani: So?

Roy: So you're lazy.

Meso: I kinda agree with the pyro... but it's fun helping you update ^^

Dani: I know. The next question is for Edward.

There's this girl in my class, she's like the only short person there who still fits in first grader clothes. Or at least, it looks like it anyway. She's so CHIBI!

Edward: That makes me feel great.

Dani: Yeah, he's advanced to 2nd Grader clothes!

Edward: -.-"

Dani: :D Now a question for me to brighten your day.

I have to have frickin' surgery on the 16th and I'm so scared!(And aggitated) It's my first time having it! *Hides face*

Dani: Don't worry, surgery isn't so bad. You'll either be unconscious, have the place numbed for the entire time, or both, so you won't feel a thing. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't even remember it afterwords.

Edward: That was…nice? Holy crap, what happened?!?

Dani: It's you I don't like, Ed, the reviewers I love.

Ed: Oh.

Meso: I had surgery once... when I was five... I broke my cheeckbone... and now I can move my jaw in ways most people can't :D

Dani: That's amazing! The next question beith for Sir Hohenheim.

You are seriously lucky I am not there. I'd add to the bruises you already have. AND kick you where the sun doesn't shine. Just for the hell of it. ^^ :P I'm trying to add to your bashing record.

Hohenheim: Eh?

Edward: I love you! *Hugs reviewer*

Dani: Leave the reviewers alone, shrimpy.

Edward: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD DROWN IN A PUDDLE?!?

Dani: Gets me every time. Anyways, next is for Alex Louise Armstrong. This question made me laugh.

Hey, were you that strong as a baby?

Armstrong: OF COURSE I WAS! DON'T YOU KNOW THIS BEAUTIFUL BODY HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS?

Dani: *Imagines Armstrong as a baby and laughs her ass off*

Meso: *also imagines and falls over because she's laughing so hard*

Armstrong: *flexes muscular body*

Dani: MOVING ON! The next question is for Anime!Wrath

Here's a dollar bill, some rice crispies, a cupcake, an old  
cell phone and a barbie doll. Now, go to the closet.

Wrath: Kay! *Takes everything to closet*

Meso: Ze next set of questions comes from LOTR_junkie. Ze first is for Monsieur Palm tree.

Dani: Since when are you French?

Girls have problems? No duh. But your little worm form is really funny... you're punier than Ed- ah, wait, smaller than an... orange? (Don't kill me, Ed. Slip of the tongue, slip of the tongue. Heh.) Hm, yes, actually I agree with Dani, that did ** me off when you killed Hughes. She's right. But I still like you. Not in a fangirl way, though. You've got enough of them. Hey, did you know that a lot of people write fanfic pairing you with Lust? What do you think of that?

Ed: That's right, you better not insult me!

Dani: You can insult him if you want to.

Envy: *pushes Ed and Dani out of the way* Shut up! I can't help the way I look in that form… WHAT THE HELL!?! Me and Lust??????? Dani, can I go angst in you're angst corner?

Dani: No way, it's for me only! But Ling and Roy can join if they like.

Envy: How is that fair?

Meso: Ha, you and Lust *giggles* Next question is for the midget.

Ed: :(

Meso: :P Anyway, here's you're question.

I wasn't exactly comparing you with a bean... I was referring to the extra at the back of one of the volumes where the author compared you to the bean. Don't worry, you were ** off then, too. Just a note, I like azuki beans. Tastes good...

Ed: So that author makes fun of me? I'll show her!

Meso: Please don't kill Arakawa-sensei, Ed.

Dani: Yeah, if you did that we'd_ never_ get to read chapter 101, and I would personally kill you. It's taking too long already! A whole month?!?

Ed: Anyway, I've never eaten an azuki bean, so, I can't say if I agree with you.

Meso: Next question is for the guy made of win, Ling!

About the "Ling" "PrinceLing" thing, that could be a coincidence.  
Some translations spell your name as "Lin", although I don't know the  
Japanese. Lan Fan rocks. (I spell it with an "L") I am sending her a pair  
of Ranger knives, with the customary double sheath. The forging is exquisite  
and the metal of fine quality, so I hope she will accept them. (I am  
referring to the Ranger's Apprentice series. I'm such a nerd/geek/whatever.)

Ling: Yes, my name isn't completely weird!

Meso: I searched 'Lin' on the name meaning thingy, still says it's a girl name.

Ling: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, Ranfan! Someone wants to give you a present.

Dani: I would think about that, Ling. If you piss Ran Fan off, this will give her an easier way to kill you.

Roy: Too late, here she is!

Ranfan: Thank you? This is suprising…

Meso: Yay, someone gave Ranfan a present! I'm hyper right now, snow in October does that to you, except when you spend so long outside in it that you need to take an hour long hot shower… anyway next question is for Farman.

You *are* overlooked a lot... sucks, mate. Therefore, I must think  
up some inane small talk. Um. Eh. Er. So, how's the weather around there?

Falman: Sunny….

Dani: Weren't you transefered to Briggs in the North?

Meso: Odd. Last question from LOTR_junkie is for Black Hayate.

You know when the 2nd Lieutenant Rebecca (I forgot the correct  
spelling) hugged you to stick the note in your collar? Did that hurt?  
Because you were kinda choking. Wait, never mind, that was redundant. I'll  
send Black Hayate a chew toy instead, because he's so cute. What's his  
feedback on that?

Black Hayate: Arf arf, woof, bark *chews on chew toy*

Meso: I speak dog, so I shall translate. Hayate says 'Yes, she did kind of choke me. Thank you for the toy!'

Dani: Meso speaks dog? I guess you have that and I have my lovable personality and witty sense of humor.

Edward: Yeahh…..

Dani: Shut up, Ed! Our last questions come from randomperson. The first is for Mister Beansprout!

Its fun to mess with you heres a second copy of the book

Edward: You better give me a second copy! LOOK AL, WE GOT IT!

Dani: But, sense this FanFiction has no plot to begin with, it doesn't matter.

Edward: *angst*

Dani: JUST STAY AWAY FROM MY CORNER!

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

meso: I want a corner!

Havoc: Remind me never to go near your corner.

Dani: Kay, this next question is for Hohenheim.

I didn't mean use alchemy on Ed but against him.

Hohenheim: I would never do that to my son.

Edward: I would do it to you!

Dani: But you are an asshole.

Edward: :P

Dani: Our next question is for Alphonse.

Do you have a male calico cat?

Al: Sure, you want him?

Dani: If you haven't adopted him already…

Al: I didn't.

Dani: ….Next, we have a question for Envy.

I dare you to hug Ed and Al and look like you care about 'em. Everyone else  
feel free to take pictures.

Envy: I have to?

Dani: As always.

Meso: *takes out cell phone to take pics*

Envy: Fine….*hugs Ed and Al and pretends to like them*

Everyone Else: *Takes pictures and video*

Dani: Oooh, this is so going on YouTube.

Edward: …..What's YouTube?

Dani: …..A mythical place of great magical power. Virtual hugs and cookies to whoever gets this reference.

Roy: Of course you would use a reference.

Dani: I had to! Anyways, forget y'all, randomperson gave me a box of cookies and I'm only sharing with Meso. So hah.

Meso: Yay, cookies ^^ Of course this might be a good thing since I'm already wired on soda, rice crispy treats and brownies... I went to a party last night :D

Roy: CLEAR THE ROOM!

Dani: Anyways, now we have a question for all the humonculi.

Do all of you have a true form like Envy and Greed?

Pride: Yeah. I have my form of the shadows in the bottle thing, like what Father looked like before taking Hohenheim's form, Gluttony has his scary gate form, and it hasn't mentioned the others yet, but I'm sure they have them.

Dani: *hiding behind Roy and Meso* That's nice, Pride. I'm scared of you. Everyone remember to review, and don't forget to ask Meso questions. She needs them too, you know!

Meso: I'm being hid behind? Cool! And yes, questions would be much loved ^^

Roy: Can I have the last word today?

Dani: No!

Roy: Too bad! Goodbye everyone!

Dani: Nope, I still got it!

*Screen goes black and chapter ends*


	18. Chapter 18

Dani: Tahdah! Did you miss us? I'll answer that; YES! YOU MISSED US TERRIBLY!

Roy: Er…you okay?

Dani: Never been better, my dear Roy!

Roy: You sure? You're acting…strange.

Dani: …..When have I _ever_ acted normal?

Roy: Good point.

Dani: Anyways, without any further interruption *glares at Roy* We'll start reading the questions! They are from .Secrets! You may remember them from earlier chapters…

Everyone Else: *Hiding behind Roy*

Roy: What the hell?!? When did you all get back there?!?

Dani: Does it matter? The first question is for Envy!

How would you like it if I said you get to kick one of my OC's butt?

Envy: I do love kicking butt! *evil smile* OC's especially….

Dani: Psh, you couldn't kick a cow's butt if it mooned you.

Envy: _What?!?_ Of course I can! I kick Edward's butt all the time!

Dani: He doesn't count as a _person!_ Maybe _half _a person, due to his size…

Edward: WHAT?!? WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL NOT EVEN THE SMALLEST CELL IN AN INSECT CAN SEE HIM?!?!?

Alphonse: Where do you come up with these things, Brother?

Meso: For a genius you're not very smart, cells don't have eyes, they are just little blobby things that split in half over and over and over *yammers on*

Dani: Woah, you _learn_ things in _school?_ Anyways, the next question is for the shrimp himself!

How much coffee did you drink when you were young? Because like, it keeps you short. Or at least that's what the adults told me xD

Edward: I never drank coffee!

Dani: YOU LIE!

Ed: No, I don't!

Meso: Yeah you do! Like in Briggs, you freak out because it's terrible and expensive.

Dani: Yeah! I'm watching you. The next question is for Anime!Wrath.

Is Envy your idol or something? If he is you make a bad decision. lol

Wrath: Wherever did you get that idea?

Dani: Dude…you dress just like him…

Wrath: Do not!

Dani: Let's compare! *pulls down chart* Envy, black tube top bra thingy. Wrath, black tube top bra thingy.

Wrath: I don't see-

Dani: -Envy, black mini skirt-

Envy: Hey fo-

Dani: -Wrath, black mini skirt. You even have a tattoo in the same place!

Wrath: Fine, you caught me. I have a shrine to Envy in my closet.

Meso: Ha! Palmtree wanna be!

Dani: Knew it. Next, we have a question for me.

What do you think of the song Twisted Transistor by KoRn? I've been playing it on repeat for the past hour! It's a great song in my opinion.

Dani: After looking this song up on the YouTube machine, I have decided that I do, indeed, like it. What about you, Meso?

Meso: An awsome song ^^ It reminds me of Slipknot, the band that most likely gave me dementia. Though I think Slipknot bases their music off Korn... whatever. Me likey this song.

Dani: Our next set of questions come from Delilah. The first…well…I'll just read it.

How do the original cast feel about the manga series? (Ed, Al, Roy, Riza, Winry, Scar, The Humuculi including Greed because we need more of that loveable bastard). It's alot different from the TV show from before, a little bit more complicated, but at the same time, it's really good, right? That's my two cents anyway.

Roy: …?

Dani: Didn't the manga come first?

Everyone else: *shrugs*

Dani: Since we're not sure how to answer that, we'll move on to the next question. It's for me, of course.

Edward: What?!? You get the least amount of questions, usually! Since when does everyone love you?

Dani: Since I'm cooler than you, which is equal to forever! Duh!

Meso: Everyone is cooler than him.

Ed: ….Was that _supposed_ to make sense?

Dani: *Sticks out tongue*

Other than FMA, name a few other animes you like or compare characters from them.

Dani: Ooh, this feels like an essay! xD Let's see…I love Fruits Basket and Ouran High School Host Club, so I'll do those two. Is two enough? I'm gonna say two is enough.

Edward: Hurry up and answer!

Dani: Nuh! In Fruits Basket, Shigure is like Roy because they are both around the same age, and they are both perverts. Edward and Kyou are alike in anger issues.

Edward: FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES!

Everyone else: Yes you do.

Dani: My point is proven. Anyways, Ling is also similar to Kyou in apatite. And that's all I have for Furuba. So let's go to Ouran! I think Tamaki and Kyouya are like Roy, Tamaki in arrogance and Kyouya in always being one step ahead. Hani and Ed are alike in shortness…Tamaki and Hughes in obsesivness and that's all I have for now.

Meso: You're lucky I don't list all of the mangas I read :D

Dani: I never said that was all I read, that's just the ones I felt active enough to list. xD

Edward: Took you long enough.

Dani: Shaddup. Next question is for Envy.

You do look a little bit like a girl, you do know that right? If it helps at all, I don't believe your "shorts", it IS a skort. ...Yet, for some reason, you're one of my favorite characters.

Envy: I won't kill you for that girl comment, but only because of the shorts comment.

Dani: You won't kill them, period.

Envy: Whatever.

Dani: …..Next question! It's for Riza.

How did you feel about the movie's ending? Wasn't there alot unsaid about certain characters, things left hanging? 'Specially with you and Mustang apart.

Riza: I believe that the ending did leave out a lot. It may have been satisfying to see the brothers reunited, but it didn't mention much about the rest of us, did it? What about Alter!Maes and Alter!Gracia? Or the Colonel and myself? So much went unsaid. I do think it could have been much better.

Dani: I agree!

Roy: Me too.

Dani: I forgot you were here, Roy, you were being quiet.

Roy: I fell asleep.

Dani: You can't do that!

Roy: Why?

Dani: Cos, you may have to answer stuff!

Roy: *Asleep again*

Meso: Ha *pokes Roy with stick*

Dani: *rolls eyes* Riza, as I do the next question, take Roy offstage and beat him awake!

Riza: Hai! *Drags the Colonel offstage*

Dani: Edward, here is your question.

You know, cheese can help you get taller too, right? ;D

Edward: WHY WOULD I NEED TO GET TALLER?!?

Dani: Well-

-*Several pounding noises and Roy's screams of pain are heard from offstage*

Dani: *ignores them and speaks up* BECAUSE YOU ARE SHORT!

Ed: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!

Dani: Really? Cause I've been saying it for like, what, twenty chapters now?

Edward: ….-.-

Dani: The next question is for the cat obsessed Alphonse.

...Can I have a kitty? I want a black one so I can name her Ryo-Ohki. ;o;

Al: Of course! That's a nice name, too! I'll have one ready for you by next chapter!

Edward: What do you mean "Have one ready?"

Al: *runs offstage*

Dani: I'm sure we don't want to know. Now, a question for Ro-where'd he go?

Ling: I believe you told the scary Lieutenant to beat him awake.

Meso: Next time ask me, I want to hurt Roy!

Dani: HOLY *censored*! I HOPE SHE DIDN'T KILL HIM!

Riza: She didn't. Here he is.

Roy: *Glares at Dani and Riza as he sits down*

Dani: Ah! Don't be mad at me, my love! *glomps Roy*

Roy: Ugh! Fine! Just never call me that again.

Dani: Of course. A question, to cheer you up.

...Do you love dogs?

Roy: OF COURSE! Dogs represent loyalty! They follow their master's every command and they never once beg for a paycheck! *singing* Loyal canine, how we salute you!

Dani: That sounds familiar…you reused your dog speech!

Roy: OF COURSE!

Dani: xD That's all from Delilah. The next comment is from Anonymous1996. It's for Edward.

Yay, Ed hugged me!! Ed is the coolest character ever!! Either that or I'm an insane Edward fangirl...

Roy: I vote for the latter, since the first is impossible, considering _I_ am the coolest character ever.

Dani: I'm the coolest here, but since I'm not a character, I agree with Roy.

Roy: Hah! The host agrees with me!

Dani: I bet Meso doesn't though. *looks at Meso*

Meso: No, I hate you, Roy. Ranfan is the coolest character! And I shall stand by that!

Dani: As I suspected. Well, the next questions are from Noah the Pumpkin Queen! The first is for Lust.

Hey, I'm seriously not a big fan of the whole LustxEnvy fanfics. I think it's kind of stupid. Don't you agree?

Lust: Completely. Like Envy could even handle this much sexy.

Dani: Just keep telling yourself that.

Lust: You don't agree?

Dani: Oh, c'mon! Even Edward is sexier than you, and he's a shrimpburger!

Ling: Do you make up these words as you go along?

Dani: Pretty much. Takes_ Palent_, doesn't it, Meso?

Meso: It was a typo! My keyboard is sticky! I have the attention span of an ant! What am I yelling about!?!

Dani: Anyways, our next question is for me!

I got out of surgery well but they couldn't remove the kidney stone. I have to go back in a month to have the same procedure done. It sucks, I'm going to cry. *angst*

Dani: Don't worry, it'll be okay! You can even borrow my angst corner, if you like.

Edward: CAN EVERYONE USE THAT CORNER BUT ME?!?

Dani: No, Envy, Scar, and Lust can't use it either!

Envy, Scar, and Lust: What did we do?!?

Dani: Envy killed Hughes, Lust injured Havoc, and I just don't like Scar!

Scar: Okay, that's it. Prepare to die.

Dani: Ah! *Hides behind Roy, Riza, and Meso* DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!!

Meso: Okay *twitchy insane laugh* I'll go get my dad's ornimental swords, I'm so happy my uncle taught me how to fence *laugh*

Dani: This next question is for Ran Fan.

You never get anything so here's a cookie, some duct tape(For Ling), and an old teddybear that I used to cling to in the dark as a child.

Ran Fan: Thank you, it will all come in handy.

Ling: *tries to sneakily steal cookie*

Ran Fan: *duct tapes his mouth closed* HANDS OFF MY COOKIE!

Ling: *wimpers*

Meso: Ha! Hey, can I borrow that duct tape? My dog is having a hard time learning that he can't eat my foot... or the couch... or really everything else.

Dani: Ling, I love you and all, but that made my day. The next question is for Envy.

I have to admit it right here and now. I SERIOUSLY thought you were a girl when I first saw you. Even the way you talked had me convinced. X3 And the way you dressed. You cross dressing palm tree...XD

Envy: I AM NOT A CROSS DRESSING PALM TREE!

Dani: Yes, you are.

Envy: :(

Dani: The next question is for Pride.

You don't like humans? D8 That's mean. So, if you don't like humans, do you atleast like animals?

Pride: Not really. They're all pretty worthless to me.

Roy and Al: WHAT?!?

Roy: You don't love dogs?

Alphonse: AND HOW CAN YOU HATE CATS?!?

Pride: *shrugs*

Roy and Al: Hey, Fuery. Let's get him!

Fuery: Yes sirs!

*Roy, Al, and Fuery all attack Pride for not loving animals*

Meso: sick 'im Monarch, Hawk, Chaos! Choas is the one having a hard time learning to not eat stuff... course I wish my friends new doog was here, that dog is scary!

Dani: And no one notices, or cares, that he doesn't like humans. Typical. Hey, Roy! Come take a break and answer this!

My uncle just got a puppy. He's shitzu and his name is Peanut. He already barks and growls and he's only three weeks old! X3

Roy: Aw! 3

Dani: ….That was so out of character.

Roy: But there's a wittle puppy!

Meso: Puppy! I always have puppies around... my mom breeds poodles, yappy little things, my friends previously mentioned new dog is better. It's a big black German Shepard mix she got from the pound, it's a girl and it's missing it's front left leg and it has a white swirl on it's forehead, it's a Ranfan dog! She even named it Ranfan o.o I'll be quite now.

Dani: Okay, I'm going to get flames about this now. What a fail. The next question is for the hopefully in character Dante!

*Whispers* Hohenhiem Hohenhiem...XD Couldn't resist that one. I just love to torture anime characters. X3

Dante: *screams* NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN!

Dani: Always in character. The next question is for Meso.

I read your stuck in Ametris with a Cat fanfic and I loved it! It was so funny and random! Good work!

Meso: Thank you, I'll update it when I stop being lazy... and I know it's random, but that's how I roll *fail*

Dani: Thank you, Meso. Now we have a question for Edward McShrimpypants.

Don't feel lonely because you are not the shortest person in the world. My former math teacher is probably shorter than you are. Hell, my granny is shorter than you...But that doesn't mean she can't whoop **!

Edward: First of all, Dani, it's Elric. Edward Elric. Next time you suggest otherwise, I might just have to kick your ass.

Dani: Bring it on, Bean!

Edward: -.-" Now to the reviewer, thank you.

Dani: Psh. Guy thinks he can beat my ass. What a loser. The next question is for-

Edward: -I can beat your ass!

Dani: -.- Roy, read this question. Ed, follow me.

*Edward and Dani disappear offstage, where various violent yells and other sounds can be heard*

Meso: *follows with a bag of popcorn* This shall be fun to watch.

Roy: *glances offstage* Err…okay…the next question is for Al…

I have a bunch of stray cats and kittens on my property (Cuz I live in the country.) if you want them for your adoption store. They are so pitiful looking, I don't even have a chance to feed them. Well, the good thing is that they are keeping the fields ratless.

Alphonse: POOR KITTIES! I'll take them, every last one!

Ling: And Ed isn't even here to tell you otherwise.

Roy: Heh, yeah.

*More violent noises come from backstage, as well as blue light from Ed's alchemy*

Meso: *yells from offstage* So awsomesauce!

Roy: Since Dani is still…busy…I'll read the next question too. It's for Winry.

You and I both need anger management. A boy might end up beaten to a bloody pulp at my school. *Evil Glare at K.T.* K.T.: *Hands in the air* I won't say any more vulgar things about you or claim your drawings as mine! Just don't hurt me!

Roy: *mutters under breath* I think there are a couple people backstage who could also join you in anger management.

Winry: I say, go ahead and whoop that kid's ass! Want to borrow my ass-whooping-wrench?

Roy: Haha. The next questions come from-

Meso: -Next questions are from, uh, I forget… I mean LOTR_junkie. Sorry, I fell out of a tree and hit my head, so I'm a little scattered. First question is for Envy.

Roy: Hey! I was talking!

Ling: Psh, so? She's the co-host!

Roy: -.-….

Heh. Your reaction regarding the Lust thing was hilarious. Therefore, I'd  
like to remind you of the EnvyxEd fanfics... I think there are even lemons on  
those...

Envy: 0.o Bad mental picture!!!!!!!! *screams* Why must you torment me!?!

Dani: Hello all! I'm back!

Roy: Er…where's Ed?

Dani: Oh…he took a…vacation.

Everyone else: O.o

Meso: He, Envy has a lot of pair-pair… pairings. Gosh my head hurts. Next question is for the guy that is made of win, Ling ^^

Eh, sorry, I guess the difference in spelling still doesn't help. Hug?

Ling: No it doesn't Sure ^^ *hugs LOTR_junkie* It doesn't fill the void…

Meso: Does food help? You can have my dinner, I'm not very hungry, mostly because my lunch was edible today…

Ling: Are you sure? Food is important… *drools*

Meso: Be my guest, I ate all my lunch, so I'm still full, I'll probably eat a yogurt later or something…

Ling: *eats Meso's diner*

Meso: This question is for Scar's nameless brother.

Where did you get your glasses? Did you make them with alchemy, or was  
Ishvalan technology already developing such?

Scar's brother: Ishvalan technology was already that far developed, but few Ishvalan's wore glasses anyway.

Dani: Really?

Scar's Brother: Yeah.

Dani: C-…can I call you Majestic Leeohpard?

Scar's Brother: No.

Dani: Oh. Okay. :/ You're not majestic enough anyways.

Meso: Next questions/comments are from randomperson. And the first is for Dani and me.

Have this crate of assorted sweets

Meso: YES!!!!! Sugar cures all!!! *opens crate and starts stuffing mouth*

Dani: Oh, no. This is gonna get messy…

Everyone: *backs away*

Meso: *mouth is full* Ext estion for Edard.

I want you to drink milk directly from a cows utter until there's no more. If you don't I will sic a pack of rabid FMA deprived fangirls on you*opens curtain to show fangirls*

Ed: *randomly back from vacation with plenty of unexplained injuries* That's just nasty! Do you know what an utter is the equivalent to? Then again, rabid fangirls are scary *Ed ponders*

Dani: Hm. Think of your chances, Ed. The result of drinking the milk is you might grow a bit taller, though your self respect will go down the drain but if you don't….you against all those fangirls will no doubt result in rape. Either way I'm happy but….

Edward: O-okay! I'll do it!

Dani: Can I buy popcorn?

Edward: NO!

Dani: Fine…

Edward: *drinks the mil-*

Dani: Sorry, folks, the scene of what happens next is too gruesome .Who could of guessed on small guy could hold that much puke? Hold on. Hey, Ed! I'm done taking pictures so stop. No, seriously, I don't have the right kind of medicine for this! So, we move on.

Meso: *says while twitching from sugar* Next is for Al. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I said Al *giggles*

I'll take the cat

Al: *backs away from Meso* Here you go :3 *hands randomperson cat*

Dani: It's okay, Al, just a reaction to all that sugar…

Meso: I have a feeling this is Anime!Wrath, so I'll ask him. *giggle*

I'm sure your sugar deprived so take this bag of pixie sticks

Wrath: Yay!

Meso: N-now go to the… bwahahahaha! Go to the closet *giggle*

Wrath: *goes to closet*

Dani: Good boy!

Meso: I-I hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! I like this person for giving me sugar. Now here's a question for the guy whose guts I hate, Roy.

Did you always want join the military or did you want to be something else

Roy: Almost always, when I was about four I wanted to drive a racecar… But that's what most kids want to do, so, I don't think it counts.

Dani: Aw! That's kawai!

Meso: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ling: I don't recommend we let Meso have that much sugar anymore…

Dani: I second that recommendation.

Meso: *says in creepy voice* MY SUGAR! :( *giggles* Last question from randomperson is for *snicker* The palmtree guy.

Here's a gift a palmtree snowglobe don't worry its indestructible

Envy: *tries to smash snowglobe* Damn it…

Dani: That's silly! Palmtrees don't like snow, do they Envy?

Envy: How would I know?!?

Dani: I thought you would, considering you are one!

Envy: I think we should move on!

Meso: *still sugarhigh* Next questions are from *giggle* LoveStories. First is for D-da hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Dante.

HOENHIEM! (=P)

Dante: *rage* I CAN'T BELIVE YOU SAID THAT NAME TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

Dani: Believe it! Or not… I'm your host, Ripley…

Roy: Wha? Since when?

Dani: Of course you would have never heard of it. Figures.

Meso: !!!!!!!!!!!! You look funny when you're mad, Dante. Now for the guy mad lady hates, Hoenheim.

Here's a cookie. *gives cookie* I feel nice today. ^^

Hoenheim: *slowly eats cookie*

Meso: Is that a cookie!?! I need more sugar! I'mma go get an amp…

Dani: DON'T LET HER!

Everyone: 0.0

Dani: Too late. Man, you're all as useless as Roy in the rain.

Roy: Hey! I thought we were friends!

Dani: Of course we are!

Meso: OkaynowI'!!!!!!! *twitch* Nextquestionisforeverybody!!!!

If I get a hug from you all I'll give you cookies!

All (except Meso): *hug Lovestories*

Ed and Ling: *are holding down Meso*

Dani: *eating cookie* Good job, guys.

Ling: Why am I helping to shove her in the spare closet?

Ed: Because I said I'd buy you food.

Ling: Right…

Meso: *escapes* I'm good now… mostly because my headache is back *sigh*

Dani: Poor Meso.

Meso: these questions come from animephoenix2468. The first is for all of us.

Do you like sunflower seeds?

Ed: Never tried them.

Roy: I guess…

Ling: You can eat those? Yes!

Meso: You gave him ideas… I've never eaten them, and I so happy! My friend drew me a chibi Greed, he's all cute and giant eyed and his fluffy collar is all fluffy…

Dani: I love sunflower seeds! They are amazing. But what does chibi Greed have to do with sunflower seeds, Meso?

Meso: Next question is for Edo, as he seems to be called in Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood…

I know how you feel. I don't like plain milk, either, but I don't mind chocolate milk and love cheese and ice cream. (Not together, though)

Ed: I don't like milk at all; I do eat some dairy products though, sometimes…

Dani: Chocolate milk, for the end!

Meso: Cheese and ice cream, I must try this! Just not now, I'm not hungry. Anyway, next question is for the awesome person we all know and love, Izumi!

How did you feel when you learned that Ed and Al transmuted their mother?

Izumi: PISSED!!! And I felt a little bad for them, but don't think I'm SOFT!

Dani: …..No comment.

Meso: *cringe* Next is a comment for me :D

Thanks for helping Dani out.

Meso: You're very welcome, and because I'm helping Dani with this, she helped me think of the names for some (most) of the characters in my fanfic: Future-esque.

Dani: Nothing compared to all the help you've given me, buddy. :)

Meso: Our next questions come from a reviewer with a very contradictory name, CrazyMellow103. First is a comment for Envy.

*just watched FMAB episode 28* I love your true form! It's cool! =D

Envy: Er, thank you?

Dani: There's a first. People usually say you look like a Pokemon.

Meso: *is caramelldansen* You people can see me, right…. *stops dancing* The song is good, okay!?! Next is question for Edo! From now on I put an exclamation point after his name, all the time! I rewached FMA brotherhood and in episode 26, Ling was all 'Ed! Ed!' blah, blah blah. Here's the question.

Is clapping that fun? *claps a lot then can't stop clapping* Ack! I'm  
stuck!

Ed: Not really. And you're on your own with the clapping…

Dani: I hate clapping! *snaps obsessively*

Roy: *joins in*

Dani: Glad you aren't wearing your gloves.

Meso: Weird, next question/comment is for all of us.

*gives out cookies while still clapping*

All: *nom*

Meso: The precious! *takes cookie and hides in corner while petting cookie* Hiss!

Dani: Should we take that?

Ling: Err…I actually want to live so...let her be.

Dani: Right!

Meso: *is still muttering about the precious cookie in corner*

Ed: Does this mean it's over?

Meso: No. Ling, read the questions *goes back to petting cookie*

Ling: *blink* Okay :D These questions are from Firenutzuko. First is for Envy.

YOU CANNOT HAVE A BIGGER COOKIE! I GAVE AL THE BIGGEST COOKIE I COULD FIND! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! You don't HATE humans, you just have a strong dislike of them =D

Envy: Damn. No, I'm pretty sure I hate them -_-

Dani: But you love me.

Envy: No, I hate you the most.

Dani: Eh, whatever, as long as I'm on your mind….

Meso: Thanks for reading the questions, Ling. *slinks further into corner muttering about the precious*

Ling: Sure… Gluttony gets the next question…

What did your father do to you? Did he force you to... do very  
perverted illegal acts?

Gluttony: No, he just made me spy on mommy *drool*

Dani: Again, no comment.

Ling: Uh…………. Oh look, more questions! Ed has a questions… yeah, Ed does.

Here's an apple. *hands him a "non-poisoned" apple*

Ed: *chucks apple*

Dani: ……What are you, Ryuk?

Ling: Meso, can I stop reading questions?

Meso: Fine -_- *sticks cookie in pocket* I'll eat it later. This question is for Ha-een-him (Hoenheim)

Did Ed cry on your shoulder or punch you when the evil witch died?

Hoenheim: Punched me. He said it was my fault she died.

Dani: What, did you kill her?

Meso: Does not surprise me. Dante has question.

First off... Envy, get the notebook and pencil again. ... Okay... Dante, why do you think Hohenheim cheated on you with an animal? Was it because you were too evil for him? Or do you think it was because of how he made his 1st son (Envy) into a homunculus and was distraught with the result of a cross-dressing palm tree?

Envy: *gets notbook and pencil* Is this necessary?

Meso: Don't argue!

Dante: *twitch* You said THAT name!!!!!!!!! *rage* *temporarily explodes*

Meso: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So random! Last question is for, uh, Mr. X.

... You haven't really gotten any questions, have you? So... er... what was it like watching everyone you knew and loved die? *hides behind Roy because there's an automatic safe place behind him*

Scar: Not really. And it was horrible, which is why state alchemists shall DIE!!!!!!!!

Meso: 0_0 SCARY!!!

Dani: Err… *backs behind Roy with FireNutZuko* Hah… You do that…just….later…

Meso: Our next questions are from Anonymous Candybar. The first is for that firey guy that I hate with all my heart, or most of it anyway, Roy!

What's your take on the end of chapter 100? I feel bad for you. Have a hug. *hugs*

Roy: I hated it! How could they do that? Ha, there are still people that like me.

Meso: That doesn't mean I'll like you anymore, Roy toy.

Dani: Aw, but I do.

Meso: Anyway is for the person I actually tolerate, Riza ^^

Want a band-aid? I carry some everywhere I go! I hope they fix  
things better! The Colonel is USELESS without you. Haha. Do you want a hug,  
too?

Riza: Hmm, I'm not sure a band-aid would help with this. And yes, he would be useless without me, and wouldn't get his paperwork done. If it makes you happy you may hug me.

Meso: You're too formal *flail* At least you comply with the nice reviewer though… Envy now has a question ^^

How's the skirt working for you? Also, I think you should  
know, I kinda sorta prank called a few people... they are now convinced a  
talking pine tree is running around kicking innocent watermelons. Haha...  
sorry.

Envy: It's SHORTS! And why watermelons?

Dani: Because you _would _do that, wouldn't you?

Meso: Wrath is going to be mad, he seems to love melon. Haha, you're a pine tree now ^^

Ed: Why are you so happy?

Meso: No idea, considering my knee hurts like crazy from stretching the ligament thingys.

Ed: That's weird…

Meso: Whatever shrimp, and don't start ranting, you have a question.

Come here! I has a present for you! *gives phone book* There. Now you  
can sit level with everyone at the dinner table.

Ed: Who are you calling so small he can't see the atoms of the molecules of the wood grains in a table leg!?!?!

Dani: ….How many times…YOU! YOU = SHORT! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!

Roy: *whispering* I've never seen her like this. Should we run?

Ling: Let's.

Meso: *snore*

Ling: *pokes Meso*

Meso: Doughnut fruit! What? I fell asleep during Ed's rant.

Ling: The questions.

Meso: Right… the bestest chimera ever has a question ^^

If I gave you a tennis ball, would I get a hug in return? And I  
have a doggy biscuit! *throws dog biscuit* Fetch, boy! Fetch!

Dorochette: Tennis ball you say? Deal. *stares at biscuit* I'm good.

Meso: You know what! There are all these dog stereotypes people use on Dorochette, but I've never seen any for Martel or Loa. If any of you, that means FMA peoples, Dani and reviewers think of some I will give you all the food I receive next chapter.

Dani: Yeah!

Ling: FOOD?!?!?! On it!

Meso: Anyway, the next question is for the awesomest Xingese guy ever, Ling.

Here, have the password to Ed's bank account. *gives  
password to Ling* Ling, I'd like to ask you what you'd do if Mei became  
empress instead of you. You wouldn't kill cute little Mei-chan, would you?

Ling: Yes, now I can go buy more food! And I guess I would kill her. Of course, I don't actually know her that well except what she looks like and her name…

Meso: You don't even know your own sister besides her apearence and name?

Ling: I have 43 brothers and sisters, how can I know them all?

Dani: I manage to remember half of my siblings!

Meso: For shame, Ling. Dani has a question.

How long do you plan to do this? I commend you for your creativity. Keep up the awesome work. You guys make me laugh. XD

Dani: Er, I guess I'll do it until you guys run out of questions. And me, creative? Never heard that one before!

Meso: Thank you much, Dani. And in case you people are wondering, I'll keep doing this with Dani until she stops. The next question is for Dante.

Hey, I just thought I should tell you... HOHENHEIM! Haha... Hohenheim. *hides behind Roy and Riza*

Dante: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT NAME!!

Meso: Why must you all hide behind the useless one? Last question, though there is still a comment left, is for Riza.

If you had to pick between the magical power to make Edward taller or the oppurtunity to use Lust for target practice, which whould you pick?

Edward: She wants to make me taller!

Riza: Actually, after what happened between Roy and Lust, I'd use her for target practice.

Edward: *angsts*

Dani: STAY AWAY FROM MY OVERUSED CORNER!

Meso: And this very nice person's comment type thing is

Have cookies for being awesome! Except Edward. Edward only gets cookies if he drinks his milk.

Meso: Since I know he will say no to the milk, I shall have to have the burden of eating Ed's cookie. Or, I'll give it to Ling and see what happens when he's on a sugar high. What do you think Dani?

Dani: Hm. To save the world from a sugar high Ling and a sugar high Meso, I shall take the burden of cookie eating. I know, such a sacrifice but…*takes cookie and stuffs the whole thing in mouth* EPIC! Now, for the last questions/comments. (Finally, right?) They come from iTorchic! First, for the world's shortest shrimp, Ed!

Meso: No cookie for me? *sobs* That's no fair! I deserve a cookie after my mental trauma! *goes in corner and starts listening to very loud 3 Days Grace music!

Do you know that you are in charge of an all powerful army of fangirls  
known as the Risembool Rangers? And did you know that the Risembool Rangers  
took on the Miniskirt Army (Roy's Fangirl army) in a dodgeball war and the  
Risembool Rangers won! There's even a song about it called 'The Legend of  
Middle Tennessee'.

Edward: Hah! I control fangirls? The ultimate army! _And_ I beat Roy and his skirts in dodgeball? Win!

Dani: Just for the record, the next year the dodgeballs were hurled, we won!

Edward: _We_? _You're_ in the Miniskirt Army?

Dani: That surprises you?

Ed: Not really.

Dani: Stupid cocky song. Hmph. Next question is for Roy.

Can I be your secretary? I'll do your paperwork for you!

Roy: Done.

Dani: Okay…Now for a Riza question!

Please let me be Roy's secretary! I have a squirt gun that I can use on  
him if he's bad! I'm also good at water alchemy!

Riza: Why not.

Roy: YES!

Dani: ….Moving on. Next for Alphonse…

Can I have a kitty! Do you have one that is orange with green eyes?

Al: We do!

Dani: Of course. Now, there is a question for Winry.

*gives a huge wrench* A present! If you ever need to beat up Ed!

Dani: I like this plan!

Edward: I don't!

Winry: I don't care what either of you think, I want that wrench!

Dani and Ed: *Run and hide* DON'T HURT US!

Dani: N..n-ext I have a question f-for L-Ling.

Here is a free ticket to the buffet next door! *gives Ling ticket*

Ling: *runs to buffet*

Dani: Good thing this is almost over….

Everyone else: *nods*

Meso: That guy likes food way to much... *goes back to being emo in the corner*

Dani: Now, for me.

You rock! You should stop by my truth or Dare show! It'll give you more  
ways to torture Edward!

Edward: What?!? No!

Meso: *turns off music* I think I'll come by as well *laughs* I need someone to take out my sadness/anger on. For those of you wondering, my dog died, so I'm sad now *sobs*

Dani: I'll stop by. *evil grin* Well, folks, that's it for today's chapter. Review and make us happy


End file.
